Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[findingme]

Shannon, I would like to share my recent experience.

I've been on E2 now over a week, and like many times before, I got derailed one night. 2 nights ago I ran LTU 5G since it makes me take up responsibilities I've sidelined again and again.

Well, the day after running LTU, I was very soft and weepy, not knowing why. However, it felt like something in me was being exposed and challenged for the better. And I resumed E2 the following night.

To me, tears mean H/C subs are working. I know LTU isn't a H/C sub, but I've tried to squelch my emotions most of my life, and tears tell me "I might get out of this!" It's a relief to cry, especially when fear is usually the strongest voice.

I wondered if LTU's messages of happiness and being good to myself were taken in during that time. To me, happiness means expressing myself without fear. Come to think of it, it may have been the OSGF in it. When I've ran the solo OSFG 5G, I've wept. I've rarely wept on E2, likely due to the auric shielding.

What you are seeing is that the emotional shielding (which shields your conscious mind from the unpleasant effects of the healing and clearing process, not auric shielding, which adds a non-directional reflection shield to your natural aura) has faded, revealing the results of the emotional healing and clearing process underneath.

H&C can work without you crying. In fat if you define it as only working when you cry, then by definition, it can only work as long as you have something to cry about. That is not true. Not all H&C is going to cause tears.

Switching back and forth between programs is not how you get the best results.

Thank you for sharing about the H/C point I made. In fact, when I wrote that, I thought of a conversation you had with a member since he had very limiting beliefs, and you called them what they were. Yes, I am unaware how H/C always works. I said tears meant H/C, when I actually just truly enjoy and even celebrate the obvious change going on, shown by tears. Thank you for pointing that out.

I also thought today what others have done which kept them on subs successfully. I've seen numerous people make a calendar end date to stick to. In 12 step rooms, they say "if you want what we have, do what we do". That applies for any change. And I will stick to that. One day at a time.

I'm not deeply concerned about sticking mainly since emotions have been shifting lately--real anger felt and projected onto male coworkers plus desires to have brotherly connections again (today at work) tells me healing is happening.

Thank you for making E2. And thank you for your patience.