Antaeus' AM6 Reboot Journal

[DavisMind91]

Had a serious bout of depression today. No responses on Tinder yet. Feeling very isolated. Felt a lot of anger. Had to get out of the house.

Can’t say for sure yet since your journey isn’t over, but judging by what you’re reporting, another AM6 run is in order.

I feel like I need to go into more detail about this particular day. I forgot to mention on this day that I had a bit of an emotional breakdown at home when I was home alone. I didn’t binge eat but I didn’t eat according to my diet either. I just didn’t care in the moment. Luckily I didn’t eat anything bad but I was definitely emotionally eating. I sat at the dining room table and just f*cking cried. I felt abandoned, isolated and alone. Feeling like I had no one. It was a strange feeling. I just wanted to get out of the house so shortly after mom got home I took a shower and got dressed. I was pretty short with her and simply didn’t want to be bothered. I was very easily irritated with her and just felt like she was up my ass with questions about my day. Something was going on here but I don’t know what.

Hmm, seems like almost every AM6 journal I read includes some story of the man crying out of nowhere one day, myself included. Getting out of the house was what helped me that day. My tears came out of frustration, but there was no rational reason to cry. I think eventually this program “hits a nerve” that once uncovered, helps with emotional breakthrough. I cried on E2 as well one day after I realized how I let myself down in some way so I’m thinking the E1 programming in AM6 eventually uncovers something in a man that causes him to face something he may have repressed or buried and once it’s uncovered, can be eventually cleared away through continuing to use the sub.

It could also be that your subconscious mind caused you to feel stress because it was being coerced into facing something it was trying to protect you from, hence the tears and emotional eating. Judging by the reaction you had to your Mom’s questioning, it seems like you were dealing with some source of fear. Don’t know for sure though. What I do know is that as long as you keep listening, whatever is causing this fades away eventually.