I might have a BIG fear of getting hurt. Not the usual kind of fear that I imagine people experiment at one point of their life. I've probably a trauma-like, god tiers level of fear of getting hurt.
Just to set the context, I ran DMSI 3.2B 7/8 loops per day, about 4 weeks ago and the effects faded after the 3th/4th day. I decided to take a break at some point and run one loop per day only.
Well the second day after I took the break, I started feeling my "chest" tightening. You know, like when you have emotional pain. It was kinda hard to breathe too. Then the next day I was heading home and guess what the fuck happened?
The universe wanted to mess with my feels, or maybe DMSI though it was so much of a good idea to make me bump into the girl that destroyed my soul 3 years ago. She was just as fucking attractive as ever to me. In yoga pants and I swear I could even see the shape of her panties. She still had the same mimics that made me go crazy years ago. My heartbeats started to ramp up and I experienced the same thing that happened 3 years ago when she rejected me: All my energy leaving my body, legs weakening (I could barely stand), chest tightening so much that I felt like I had a giant ball in my throat. Then came the HUGE emotional pain, feeling of grief and regrets. "I wish I had never met her", "I wish I had never ever tried something with her", "I should have just made friends and nothing more than that ever", "women = PAIN".
I swear it hurt like hell and if it wasn't for a certain friend that uplifted me idk what I would have done.
I am VERY VERY VERY afraid of experimenting that pain again and I'm ready to leave EVERYTHING else just not to go through that again. :|
Just to set the context, I ran DMSI 3.2B 7/8 loops per day, about 4 weeks ago and the effects faded after the 3th/4th day. I decided to take a break at some point and run one loop per day only.
Well the second day after I took the break, I started feeling my "chest" tightening. You know, like when you have emotional pain. It was kinda hard to breathe too. Then the next day I was heading home and guess what the fuck happened?
The universe wanted to mess with my feels, or maybe DMSI though it was so much of a good idea to make me bump into the girl that destroyed my soul 3 years ago. She was just as fucking attractive as ever to me. In yoga pants and I swear I could even see the shape of her panties. She still had the same mimics that made me go crazy years ago. My heartbeats started to ramp up and I experienced the same thing that happened 3 years ago when she rejected me: All my energy leaving my body, legs weakening (I could barely stand), chest tightening so much that I felt like I had a giant ball in my throat. Then came the HUGE emotional pain, feeling of grief and regrets. "I wish I had never met her", "I wish I had never ever tried something with her", "I should have just made friends and nothing more than that ever", "women = PAIN".
I swear it hurt like hell and if it wasn't for a certain friend that uplifted me idk what I would have done.
I am VERY VERY VERY afraid of experimenting that pain again and I'm ready to leave EVERYTHING else just not to go through that again. :|
