07-09-2018, 12:56 AM
Things are getting hairy. I do everything to hide from the world: trying to sleep even though I am not tired, watching useless content so I won't do anything worthwhile when awake, being mentally sclerotic and unable to motivate myself to do useful/needed stuff. My dreams are neurotic, dystopic, weird and marked by failure.
The strange thing is that I can watch and partly analyze myself while I am in this state. But I can't get control of the proverbial steering wheel. It's as if I'm sitting in the passenger seat most of the time. I know this kind of resistance all to well but haven't experienced it in quite a while. And strangely enough I don't feel depressed or weirded out.
Still, this has to stop. I gotta take the power back.
The strange thing is that I can watch and partly analyze myself while I am in this state. But I can't get control of the proverbial steering wheel. It's as if I'm sitting in the passenger seat most of the time. I know this kind of resistance all to well but haven't experienced it in quite a while. And strangely enough I don't feel depressed or weirded out.
Still, this has to stop. I gotta take the power back.
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
