Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[Have at ye]

@ChangeMaker Hi.
I'm sorry for everything that happened to you. That's something I have been thought too. In fact, I match every one of your points besides the last one - I do not drink coffee nor alcohol.

I see many similarities with people "like" us. It starts at childhood with parents (mother in my case too) teaching you that sex is bad/evil and you should stay away from girls. I was a good boy and I've been raised to be a good boy so I listened to mom. So I kept on believing girls are bad, sex is evil and that I should avoid relationships like the plague. My mom kept saying that what people do isn't love. That true love is not about physics and sex, and that it is pure. Apparently, my mom had no concept of physical love at that time...
Do you realize it's only at...Like 16yo (EDIT: actually 18-20yo) that I realized it is okay to have a desire for the opposite sex? That it is okay to meet girls just for the purpose of *****? That it is okay to approach a girl and ask for her num? That it is NOT okay to approach a girl like a saint and expect her to like you? That in most cases you NEED sexual attraction to get girls?
That's how ***** up the beliefs I had were.
I still heavily resent my mom for what she did and I believe the way she raised me is the root cause of ALL my social issues. And the fact that my dad is really beta didn't help. Barely can take a decision by himself. Every time a decision had to be taken: "ask mom / see mom / talk to mom". So mom was the source of truth of every one of my beliefs.

I also went through the same things as heavy masturbation, being bullied, lots and lots of rejections, Mr nice guy syndrome, and so on. I started masturbating very young. Even before I hit puberty.

But the thing is, I've overcame that. The last time I've really felt beta was 2 years ago. People of my past would still see me as beta if I were to meet with them right now. But the people and friends I have now do NOT see me as beta. Because I've changed. I've changed my views, I've changed my feelings and I've changed how I act.
What helped me was: a strong desire to change and a strong determination at doing what's needed to change, LOA, Meditation and (as of only a year ago), NoFap.
Here's what I suggest you, from someone who lived the same shit at you and that's somehow a decent human being now:
-Cut the ***** ties with ALL your "friends" and people now. You already ***** up at high school and that's very bad. Can you change school next year? If you can, do so by all mean. People will keep on dragging you down, there's no way around that besides cutting the ***** ties. Move on and make a new life.

-Forget about women. Stop chasing them, stop being after them, stop proposing, and stop confessing. STOP everything about women. You're clearly not ready. And you ***** up this year once again by "confessing" to your classmate. Now you're in a shitty situation where everybody knows you're beta. So stop that and focus on yourself. Only allow yourself to meet girls just for the sake of expanding your social circle. But even by doing so there's a high chance you'll get infatuated. I know how guys like us are SO easy to "fall in love". So be careful there. Do NOT confess to girls and fancy them, that's not how it works.

-So instead of daydreaming about girls, meet boys. Or rather, men. Observe them. look how they behave, look what they have and what you do not have. Get a bunch of decent male friends. Not friends that'd pull you into shitty habits, but friends that uplift you.

-Use your knowledge from subliminal programs, the power of the mind and the likes to help you to better yourself. For me that was LOA when I started. And I'm glad I learned that. From that point, my life started improving. Mainly because I firmly kept a very dedicated and focused mind on my goals and positivity. LOA taught me how negative thoughts keep on bringing up negative events. So I changed them, and truthfully my life started to improve.

I'm suggesting all of this because, as I said, I went through all of that. I do not claim to be an expert nor am I 100% out of the hole but my life and integrity as a man drastically improved, and that's what I did. I think the most important tool here is your determination to change. You know you need to change so keep that focus at TOP priority. Stop being beta, stop acting like beta, stop falling in love every year and getting rejected because you confessed. That's too much of a leap, and that's anyway, not how you get girls nowadays. So consciously choose to change and watch carefully your thoughts, actions and your environment, learn from them and makes sure everything's right accord to your plan. No slacking off is allowed. Grad a no deep shit book on seduction just to know how human dynamics work. For people that have been raised the way we did, it is important. Because without that we get on doing things come to bite us in the end.

The other stuff that greatly improved my depressive state is nofap. And I've only been seriously doing it since...maybe 6+ months? I stopped counting. I relapsed two or 3 times maybe. Doing NoFap was very good as by the first month most of my depression thoughts disappeared. I started to enjoy life more and more. I've started to learn music again, and my hunger for creativity increased. I highly suspect that NoFap will help with your depressional state.
Meditation, and especially loving-kindness meditation also really helped me to fight depression.

Hope you found at least something useful in what I wrote. I honestly think it's too much of a leap to start fancying about women yet. Break down your problems and solve them step by step. Focus on being a decent human and a respectable man, build a solid social circle and then keep on being happy. Even meeting online people are fine. I can't tell you how much my online friends helped me. I met people that have the same interest as me, that are very open-minded and that also sense the wonder of this world, like I do. Honestly, I don't think I'd have been out of the hole completely without them.

Hang in there, and be the master of your mind. Never ever sleep depressed. Watch what you feed on to your subconscious mind, especially before going to bed.

Thanks a lot for your words, and sharing your story too! Before posting my issues here, I used to think, no one has done similar shits like me! But I already can see, there are many of us alike! I see hope there. If you guys can get out of it, so can I. I will start changing!

Hi!

You've come to the right place. You can change if you so choose, your life can change if you so choose - and you can use Shannon's subliminal programs to assist you with that.

Is there any particular program you are using right now? If not, then I'd actually say go for DMSI ver. A (with healing) and get cracking at dissolving and re-making the things about yourself, and your reality, you want to change. Why I'd recommend DMSI ver. A? Because it is currently the strongest healing/clearing program, and it is primed to resolve pretty much all of the issues you have here presented, so it is going to get cracking at them. You're actually doing quite well, I believe, because you're *aware* of them and are ready to admit to yourself that this may not be the way to go if there are certain things you want out of life.

Godbless and good luck!