I might put this in my journal but this is all healing and clearing data for Shannon (and whoever else may gain benefit from this report).
Initially i experienced a surge of good results from V3.2 in the form of TID and from actually running the program. Of course like many guys here results disappeared and it seemed like I was stonewalling. However I gradually noticed a lessening of fears which manifested in a severe reduction of my hypochondriac-like tendencies as well as reduction in overall anxiety.
Then one day (forgot what prompted this) I dreamt of two K-Trains: the "ideal" K-Train which was represented by V3.2 B and the younger child version of K-Train. Anytime the older K-Train would try and find the root cause of the fears the younger version would close him out. If the V3.2 K-Train got close to the source, the younger version (which I assume represents my subC) came up with all manner of reasons for stopping ranging from "you've got other things to do" or even bluntly saying "no, I'm not listening to you".
I decided to meditate a bit and mentally recreate the scene from that night's dream. The older K-train told the younger one (I'm paraphrasing) "Look, I'm trying to help you kid. I'm not here to f*ck you up. I just want to help us evolve so that we can become who we want to be". After a bit of persuasion, it worked. The younger version and the older version embraced into a brotherly hug. Since then, I've felt SOOOO much more free. Masturbation has stopped cold turkey. Anxiety at record lows and I was recently told today that a coworker had thought of kissing me during a company event this weekend because she was so attracted and had been so for the past few months.
Now, here’s what’s interesting. Since then, my subconscious (i feel) is actually helping and working with the program. Why? I’ll give an example. Yesterday I felt a lot of anxiety over taking this pre-workout pill. V3.2 (in the form of the “older K-Train”) sought out the source of the anxiety and immediately the memory of my first ever panic attack came up. Turns out that one episode has periodically generated a lot of anxiety even though it happened at least 5-6 years ago. The two KT’s talked it out and my anxiety level went to almost zero and I took the pill and had a kick-ass workout.
This has been going on for the past few days. I’m feeling great! I look great, I’ve got a sexy motherf’ing tan (so instead of looking like a light-skinned black dude I'm caramel colored, booyah!!!). I had a brief desire to masturbate, V3.2 sought out the source of that desire and nipped it. Fantasizing is reduced too so that means the wall is working again. Feeling good man. I believe that my subC no longer sees DMSI as a hovering annoying parent and more as a helpful older sibling hence why I don’t feel the same level of resistance.
PS: FYI, the initial dream was a traditional dream (at night) whereas the others were more on the meditation side of things. Still, gotta love the results.
EDIT: Forgot to mention, been doing 4 loops of V3.2B although I took Thursday and Friday off I believe.
Initially i experienced a surge of good results from V3.2 in the form of TID and from actually running the program. Of course like many guys here results disappeared and it seemed like I was stonewalling. However I gradually noticed a lessening of fears which manifested in a severe reduction of my hypochondriac-like tendencies as well as reduction in overall anxiety.
Then one day (forgot what prompted this) I dreamt of two K-Trains: the "ideal" K-Train which was represented by V3.2 B and the younger child version of K-Train. Anytime the older K-Train would try and find the root cause of the fears the younger version would close him out. If the V3.2 K-Train got close to the source, the younger version (which I assume represents my subC) came up with all manner of reasons for stopping ranging from "you've got other things to do" or even bluntly saying "no, I'm not listening to you".
I decided to meditate a bit and mentally recreate the scene from that night's dream. The older K-train told the younger one (I'm paraphrasing) "Look, I'm trying to help you kid. I'm not here to f*ck you up. I just want to help us evolve so that we can become who we want to be". After a bit of persuasion, it worked. The younger version and the older version embraced into a brotherly hug. Since then, I've felt SOOOO much more free. Masturbation has stopped cold turkey. Anxiety at record lows and I was recently told today that a coworker had thought of kissing me during a company event this weekend because she was so attracted and had been so for the past few months.
Now, here’s what’s interesting. Since then, my subconscious (i feel) is actually helping and working with the program. Why? I’ll give an example. Yesterday I felt a lot of anxiety over taking this pre-workout pill. V3.2 (in the form of the “older K-Train”) sought out the source of the anxiety and immediately the memory of my first ever panic attack came up. Turns out that one episode has periodically generated a lot of anxiety even though it happened at least 5-6 years ago. The two KT’s talked it out and my anxiety level went to almost zero and I took the pill and had a kick-ass workout.
This has been going on for the past few days. I’m feeling great! I look great, I’ve got a sexy motherf’ing tan (so instead of looking like a light-skinned black dude I'm caramel colored, booyah!!!). I had a brief desire to masturbate, V3.2 sought out the source of that desire and nipped it. Fantasizing is reduced too so that means the wall is working again. Feeling good man. I believe that my subC no longer sees DMSI as a hovering annoying parent and more as a helpful older sibling hence why I don’t feel the same level of resistance.
PS: FYI, the initial dream was a traditional dream (at night) whereas the others were more on the meditation side of things. Still, gotta love the results.
EDIT: Forgot to mention, been doing 4 loops of V3.2B although I took Thursday and Friday off I believe.
