Emotional Pain Relief & Healing Aid (Multiple Versions)

[Benjamin]

Emotional Pain Relief & Healing Aid 2.0.

On friday I have runned E2 for 1 month. My meditation is becoming more enjoyable. I'm starting to enjoy taking cold showers. I have more energy. Things are lightening up.

Also some other stuff:

I am no longer so damn involved in trying to soothe/make other people feel better. They have their emotions and if they are suffering, it's not my problem. I don't mean that I wouldn't comfort a friend who had just broken up with his girlfriend, but more on a daily basis. I am pretty sensitive and have an ability to sense how other people are feeling, and adjust my behavior so that they feel better about themselves (my theory, which i am pretty sure of, is that this stems from having a mother who can't take care of herself emotionally, and thus as I child i learned that this is "how you should do" i.e. - take care of other peoples (my mothers in that case) suffering from their own emotions. So that is a deep thing that have been residing in me on a behavioral level and the confusion I have been feeling is probably that I need to adjust into a life where I'm not responsible for other peoples emotions.

I can see my mother trying to use "tricks" like using guilt or whatever to get me to become involved in her emotional states, but it doesn't work anymore and I guess i can thank E2 to that. I am more resiliant if you like, which is such a relief. It's a damn freedom. Imagine being more or less a slave under other peoples desire of you comforting them, and now you have the freedom to say NO (not litteraly but you get what i mean) and stick to taking care of yourself.

I am looking forward to this. To life. To taking care of myself. To take care of a job, my economy, my future home, my interest, my friends, my life. And not needing to take care of someone else. I'm done with that, I have been doing that for my whole life, without feeling guilty about it. Now I want to start living.

-Greenduck said this here