Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[swisston]

3. You just have a personality that refuses to cooperate, at least subconsciously. If this is the case, then no amount of lowering the volume will help. As far as I know, the only way to get past this will be for me to find the magic formula to add to the script. Sometimes, these people will be resisting because they want to prove that they are stronger than the sub, prove that they can't "be controlled", or take pride in "being right" or "winning". They often see it as a competition between me/the sub and themselves, which of course is not conducive to cooperation.

That's definitely me. If there's a competition, I will push myself to the limits to win it, LOL.

Especially when younger it was very important for me not to conform. I would scorn those who followed the crowd. It's why I didn't drink; that was weakness for other people to partake of.

For me is not about being right, it's about self control and self determination (autonomy).... with an unnecessary need to prove myself.

I'm not sure how to remove that link between the sub and feeling controlled, other than some more conscious conversations with my subconscious.