Self Esteem 5.5 Journal

[Have at ye]

Thanks RisingSon and Changer.

Pasting this quote from Shannon to refer back to.

Narcissism isn't a result of self esteem, no matter how much of it you have. It's a result of too much false ego, too much focus on oneself and a state of confusion/delusion about what is and is not real concerning one's personal value as compared to the value of others.

False ego is based in insecurity and fear. Focus on oneself to a high degree is usually based in feelings of inadequacy and inferiority. Narcissism, then, is a state of delusion based in feelings of inferiority and insecurity as to one's actual value, which is used to hide the self from those facts as well as hide them from others.

Self esteem is not about those things. With self esteem, narcissism would dissolve because self esteem kills the feelings of insecurity and inferiority and replaces them with something positive and genuine instead. Without that sense of inferiority and the insecurity it generates and is based in, there is no need to focus on the self to the exclusion of others, nor constantly reassure the self of how wonderful it is, neither delude the self into believing that it is better than everyone else around.

This is very much true. I have a lot of experience dealing with narcissistic personalities (mostly due to working in an environment that has a much higher than the population average percentage of narcissistic people drawn to it), and - yup - it mostly stems from insecurity, and insecurity stems from a lack of true self-esteem. They live in a constant state of neurotic validation-seeking.

In reality, deep down inside, narcissists are extremely unhappy people.

And when the false ego bubble bursts, they become resentful and unpleasant. In result, they can become extremely toxic people (what I like to call "closeted narcissists", lol. Having been burned by reality vs. false ego, they often withdraw from overt narcissistic behavior and express it in different ways, the obvious tells being constantly putting other people down and giving unsolicited advice, usually harmful).