11-25-2017, 07:16 PM
Stage 3 is drawing to a close, and I am struggling with the idea of continuing. There has been so much upheaval and turbulence in my life since starting that I am unsure if this is the path for me. I read and reread the Alpha information, mentally ticking off those traits I observe coming to fruition. Nothing, not even the sage advice from Ryan, prepared me for this. As I look at my life in this moment, I have little to offer optimism or reinforce the alpha mindset. Money and love are scarce. (Random comments or flirtations are completely meaningless and empty) Hours are spent each day working out to improve my body, and meditating to still my troubled mind. If only love and prosperity were as easy to manifest as muscles!
I’m equally stoic yet devastated by the loss of Ryan in my life... I like my own company so I have no trouble amusing myself but I definitely mourn the loss of my dearest friend. There are twenty times each day I think of something I’d love to ask or tell him, but no longer can. Letting go is hard. Maybe one day we will reconnect and get it right next time. No matter what comes, I still offer my love and appreciation for him daily. He inspired me and helped me to become a better person.
So, birthday month has been a major fizzle... I can only trust that better things are flowing to me.
I’m equally stoic yet devastated by the loss of Ryan in my life... I like my own company so I have no trouble amusing myself but I definitely mourn the loss of my dearest friend. There are twenty times each day I think of something I’d love to ask or tell him, but no longer can. Letting go is hard. Maybe one day we will reconnect and get it right next time. No matter what comes, I still offer my love and appreciation for him daily. He inspired me and helped me to become a better person.
So, birthday month has been a major fizzle... I can only trust that better things are flowing to me.
