myth's Belated DMSI 3.1 Journal

[myth]

My time on B is coinciding with some strange things:

• More fear and panic motivating me to clean, which neither increases my sexiness nor my sexual activity, as I don't intend to entertain any future visitors at my present accommodations. My idea of a clean home is an empty home, my idea of an empty home extends to an empty closet, and my idea of dressing sexy doesn't usually include an empty closet. For me, clean home equals less sexy, not more sexy.
  
• I chose cleaning over sleeping, against my natural/conditioned instincts. More tired is also not more sexy.
  
• FWB wants to see me for a second time in the same month.
  
• I'm debating whether I should skip my annual Halloween tradition to sleep.
  
• During the past two nights, my dreams were of an alternate 1998 that didn't happen.
  
• I may have unintentionally asked someone out (more of an indeterminately-timed promenade than a date). Only meant it as a alternative to her disrupting her job for a half-hour at a time while a line of impatient patrons seethe behind me.
  

Some of these things don't feel like decisions that I was given the choice to make. I don't generally go overboard on cleaning unless I'm moving or expecting home upkeep/repair visits. My annual Halloween plans are usually... annual. I don't ask women out, whether for a walk, a date, or anything else; we usually just decide together, or we don't. The current moment isn't making much sense to me.