SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]

[SargeMaximus]

So Shannon's not the only one with shit going wrong all around him.

Check it out:

Went to the gym today.

Wasn't going to, but I thought to myself "No! I'm going to stay committed!"

So I was about to leave when I realized I needed a new lock because I couldn't remember the combo for my old one and it's cold enough outside to need to wear layers (normally, when it's warm, I just go to the gym already wearing my gym clothes).

So I go to Walmart and buy a lock without a hitch.

Then I go to the gym, write down the combination, and go inside.

In the locker room, try as I might, I can't remember HOW to open the lock! Stupid! I got the comno but that is USELESS without the correct turn sequence.

At this point I'm like "I should just go home. I'll have to pass everyone on the treadmills and they'll recognize me and it'll be embarrassing. I shouldn't come back till tomorrow"

But then I'm like "No! They'll respect me for coming back and they'll know something was up. Besides, IDGAF what they think. Yeah."

So, motivated and full of mojo, I return to my car, read the sequence and then write THAT down as well. Then return to the gym.

The gym goes off without a hitch.

There are a few girls that catch my eye.

One is short but has good body and big tits, the other is tall but has great legs and ass, and she's squating so I can see her ass.

I'm damn sure she saw me checking her out in the mirror. I'm also 80% sure she gave me a few butt displays.

Not too long after that, a guy comes over and they start talking. I think he must be her BF or orbiter because they are familiar and chill with each other. She's not giddy, however.

Anyhow, at this point I notice there is a key underneath the seat of the machine I'm using.

How strange.

It's a single key. No chain at all.

I pocket it, intending to bring it up to the guy at the front. However, when I do, he's not there.

So I decide I'll finish my workout, then go.

So I do.

He's still not there. WTF. What are these guys paid for?

So I go to the locker room, put on my clothes, and return. Finally the guy is there. I tell him I found the key and he's like "Oh shit! That's MY key!"

I'm like "What, really?"

He's like "Yeah! I was showing someone how to use the machine and it must have fallen out of my pocket."

He thanks me, we shake hands, I leave.

I'm thinking "Wow, what a crazy night" and chuckle a little. Yet I'm proud of myself for pushing through the obstacles.

I get into my car.

Then I turn the ignition key and... nothing.

My f*cking car battery is dead. WTF?!

At this point I'm thinking "Wow, unbelievable. What's going on? This is stupid. It's not even that cold, my car shouldn't be dead. And besides that, why does this shit only happen when I decide to "do the right thing"?"

So, I return to the gym. Figuring the desk guy would be more than happy to help me since I found his key.

But he's not there.

WTF?!?!!?

At this point I'm getting slightly annoyed (I was actually calm the whole time but this was just weird and unusual to me).

A guy is leaving and I approach him, ask him if he'll give me a boost. He says sure. I say great! I';m oparked over there!"

He comes over, I'm like "Thanks man, you're a life saver!" and open my trunk... NO FUCKING BOOSTER CABLES!!!

*Note To Self: BUY BOOSTER CABLES!!

So i ask the guy "Hey man, do you have booster cables?" He's like "Shit, no i don't! Sorry man!"

I'm like "No, it's MY fault. No worries man. Thanks anyways, etc etc."

we say our goodbyes, and i return to the gym.

Desk guy is still not there.

Fuuuuuuuck.

So I go out into the parking lot and wave at some guys coming into the gym.

No booster cables.

I wave at a guy in his car and ask HIM... nope.

I find someone else... but no, no cables.

I start to think I may need to sleep in the gym!

Then a car pulls up and I'm like "Ahhhh... I guess I should ask them"

So i walk up to the car and this amazing blonde is at the wheel.

She's like a total 8.5-9. Just my type. Young, voloptuous, fit.

I say "hey, I know this is random but do you have any jumper cables?"

And she's like...











Scratch that, I'm pulling your gjuys' legs, there was no girl.

It was a guy. Prolly 20 years old.

Anyhow, he had cables and he boosted my car, and I thanked him profusely and then he drove off with a wave and a smile and I drove home.

Crazy shit.

Now I'm worried about tomorrow. If my car is dying in this cool weather, it may die tomorrow and then I will have to take the bus to get my hair done. Not to mention buy a new car battery!

F*cking hell.