09-20-2017, 08:55 PM
So, couple things to note.
Today I didn't work. It was my day off. Spent the time cleaning, going over Pick Up materials, and reading "How to be An Alpha Male".
Man, I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong, as usual lol.
I have it in e-book but I decided to buy it in paperback because I want to be able to highlight things, and skip to places quickly. It should arrive in a few weeks.
Anyhow, because of that book (and other things) I'm REALLY tempted to just say "F*ck it" WRT DMSI, and do AM 6 instead for a 5th run.
Not sure what else to do.
I've just been unable to get ANY traction in my life. everytime things are going good, something happens to f*ck everything up. Sometimes it's me, other times (like this year in sales with that new bylaw making it nearly impossible to pitch our product door to door) it's outside my control. And then I'm either back to square one or BELOW where I was before.
It's a seriously scary trend.
Near as I can tell the problem either lies in my social skills and inability to form lasting bonds, and/or being too much of a people pleaser nice guy. Which I never thought I was till reading that book.
Another thing: reading that book brings the contradictions into awareness like "don't do things for women, make them EARN it" and then on the next page it tells you how to dress to impress women. So f*ck.
Anyhow, the only thing keeping me on DMSI is the small glimpses of hope I keep seeing.
Just tonight my brother informed me that a movie from one of our favorite director's is out and so he's going to get us free movie passes cause he works at the theatre. I picked the time and he was down for it.
Things like that.
Also, my cousin phoned me the other day saying he may be returning to the city after living in another one for a few months.
Then there are the looks I'm getting from women, and stuff.
But it's all too little. Not useful in a grand-schema.
I know every little bit adds up but I'm nearing the end of my contract at work and I need to get some cash going.
This year has been an utter disappointment in that regard.
Again, mostly because of that new legislation, but also because, for whatever reason, my apps are not being sold. So no commission.
So yeah, some major negatives sprinkled with some nice positives but seriously, using subs should knock my life to the next level, not continue on a morphine drip.
Anyhow, despite all that, I feel quite calm, which also has me worried because if I don't fight for my spot, I may drop off altogether.
Or maybe that's the wrong way to look at things.
Who knows.
Anyhow, went to the gym today, noticed a few girls. One of them laughing at what a guy was saying to her. she left with him.
IOI's are either too normal i don't notice them anymore or they weren't there tonight.
Today I didn't work. It was my day off. Spent the time cleaning, going over Pick Up materials, and reading "How to be An Alpha Male".
Man, I'm doing EVERYTHING wrong, as usual lol.
I have it in e-book but I decided to buy it in paperback because I want to be able to highlight things, and skip to places quickly. It should arrive in a few weeks.
Anyhow, because of that book (and other things) I'm REALLY tempted to just say "F*ck it" WRT DMSI, and do AM 6 instead for a 5th run.
Not sure what else to do.
I've just been unable to get ANY traction in my life. everytime things are going good, something happens to f*ck everything up. Sometimes it's me, other times (like this year in sales with that new bylaw making it nearly impossible to pitch our product door to door) it's outside my control. And then I'm either back to square one or BELOW where I was before.
It's a seriously scary trend.
Near as I can tell the problem either lies in my social skills and inability to form lasting bonds, and/or being too much of a people pleaser nice guy. Which I never thought I was till reading that book.
Another thing: reading that book brings the contradictions into awareness like "don't do things for women, make them EARN it" and then on the next page it tells you how to dress to impress women. So f*ck.
Anyhow, the only thing keeping me on DMSI is the small glimpses of hope I keep seeing.
Just tonight my brother informed me that a movie from one of our favorite director's is out and so he's going to get us free movie passes cause he works at the theatre. I picked the time and he was down for it.
Things like that.
Also, my cousin phoned me the other day saying he may be returning to the city after living in another one for a few months.
Then there are the looks I'm getting from women, and stuff.
But it's all too little. Not useful in a grand-schema.
I know every little bit adds up but I'm nearing the end of my contract at work and I need to get some cash going.
This year has been an utter disappointment in that regard.
Again, mostly because of that new legislation, but also because, for whatever reason, my apps are not being sold. So no commission.
So yeah, some major negatives sprinkled with some nice positives but seriously, using subs should knock my life to the next level, not continue on a morphine drip.
Anyhow, despite all that, I feel quite calm, which also has me worried because if I don't fight for my spot, I may drop off altogether.
Or maybe that's the wrong way to look at things.
Who knows.
Anyhow, went to the gym today, noticed a few girls. One of them laughing at what a guy was saying to her. she left with him.
IOI's are either too normal i don't notice them anymore or they weren't there tonight.
