I got very pissed today, and I'm one who normally suppresses or doesn't express anger very much, outwardly. What I normally do is push it inside, and I begin blaming myself for keeping it inside, so inevitably I point it towards myself.
Today, I didn't point it towards myself, and I also haven't thrown it at someone wrongly. I'm mad at a trader I hired who thinks manipulating me for more deposit money is ok. It sounded like the message of a thief, and I told him. I've been lied to before in business deals, and this sounded very, very shady. I told him that too. Anyone at anytime, anywhere, who insists on more money for a first trade is, to me, desperate and untrustworthy.
He kept it up. I told him I would not repeat myself. He threw it at me differently maybe 4 times. I told him no again. And again...........
His last request was 10 minutes ago. Upon writing this thread, I let him know if he made one more request, I'd block him from contacting me, less email. I told him I'd not do business from anyone, anywhere, at any time who does not hear my "no". My money is in the brokerage, and I'm done doing business with him once this trade is finished.
I put myself in a bad spot (hoping/fantasizing it'd turn out ok), and I am done being manipulated via fear by anyone anymore. I trusted him too easily, and his dishonesty I don't want to be involved with.
Note: I didn't even tell my coworker, although I was steaming and visibly angry. My habit is to defer to others, some who I'm fearful of when they get angry. My coworker fits this mold, so I didn't share it with him. I didn't want HIM taking over my problem since I've played "nice" or submissive with him multiple times. I didn't want to make him the focus of my anger. So, I didn't share it with him.
Edit. A major reason I've been susceptible to deception or manipulation is I've been nice. Nice meaning afraid of my anger. It's just pissed me off today
Today, I didn't point it towards myself, and I also haven't thrown it at someone wrongly. I'm mad at a trader I hired who thinks manipulating me for more deposit money is ok. It sounded like the message of a thief, and I told him. I've been lied to before in business deals, and this sounded very, very shady. I told him that too. Anyone at anytime, anywhere, who insists on more money for a first trade is, to me, desperate and untrustworthy.
He kept it up. I told him I would not repeat myself. He threw it at me differently maybe 4 times. I told him no again. And again...........
His last request was 10 minutes ago. Upon writing this thread, I let him know if he made one more request, I'd block him from contacting me, less email. I told him I'd not do business from anyone, anywhere, at any time who does not hear my "no". My money is in the brokerage, and I'm done doing business with him once this trade is finished.
I put myself in a bad spot (hoping/fantasizing it'd turn out ok), and I am done being manipulated via fear by anyone anymore. I trusted him too easily, and his dishonesty I don't want to be involved with.
Note: I didn't even tell my coworker, although I was steaming and visibly angry. My habit is to defer to others, some who I'm fearful of when they get angry. My coworker fits this mold, so I didn't share it with him. I didn't want HIM taking over my problem since I've played "nice" or submissive with him multiple times. I didn't want to make him the focus of my anger. So, I didn't share it with him.
Edit. A major reason I've been susceptible to deception or manipulation is I've been nice. Nice meaning afraid of my anger. It's just pissed me off today
I want to be FREE!
