09-16-2017, 05:38 PM
DMSI Notables:
- Lots of women looking at me today. Mostly when I'm driving past them
- In a book store, saw a woman and had angry hate-sex thoughts towards her, then I turned a corner and there was an even hotter milf. We locked eyes and she flung her head around looking away. Then I used the bathroom. When I came out, that woman I thought of manhandling/hatefucking was in front of me. She held the door open for me and I said "Thank you!" she said "You're welcome!" in a very feminine way. I felt sorry for her somehow. :/
- Feeling VERY bad internally today. I want to crawl under my bed and hide. Doing sales was torture felt like I was forcing myself. Which makes me wonder about resistance. specifically:
* How come I feel like I'm fighting MYSELF to do the right things? I'm consciously fighting tooth and nail to EXECUTE the program. Whereas when I'm "resisting" everything feels smooth and effortless, but I get no results. Makes no f*cking sense.
Reminds me of when I was on 3.0.1 A and how I had to force EVERYTHING. Felt like I was doing ALL the work CONSCIOUSLY.
Hope Shannon fixes that. No idea why that would be.
- Lots of women looking at me today. Mostly when I'm driving past them
- In a book store, saw a woman and had angry hate-sex thoughts towards her, then I turned a corner and there was an even hotter milf. We locked eyes and she flung her head around looking away. Then I used the bathroom. When I came out, that woman I thought of manhandling/hatefucking was in front of me. She held the door open for me and I said "Thank you!" she said "You're welcome!" in a very feminine way. I felt sorry for her somehow. :/
- Feeling VERY bad internally today. I want to crawl under my bed and hide. Doing sales was torture felt like I was forcing myself. Which makes me wonder about resistance. specifically:
* How come I feel like I'm fighting MYSELF to do the right things? I'm consciously fighting tooth and nail to EXECUTE the program. Whereas when I'm "resisting" everything feels smooth and effortless, but I get no results. Makes no f*cking sense.
Reminds me of when I was on 3.0.1 A and how I had to force EVERYTHING. Felt like I was doing ALL the work CONSCIOUSLY.
Hope Shannon fixes that. No idea why that would be.
