SargeMaximus: I Feel It Coming, Part II [DMSI 3.1 A Invalid Tester]

[SargeMaximus]

Another notable:

- Girl who worked at the gym some months ago (the one who winked at me one day, seemed friendly a few others after that, was flirting with some guy a time after that, then disappeared entirely) is now back.

She asked me how I was while she was on the phone and smiled girl-ishly at me, when I was leaving, she smiled girlishly again.

I'm afraid I'm grasping at straws here. DMSI is so rough on me because half the time I'm thinking girls' reaction to me is normal/nothing special, or I think I'm over inflating the importance, or I'm thinking it's a definite IOI.

Very taxing on my brain. ><

I crave stability and certainty. This new reality where things are ever changing is difficult to come to terms with.

EDIT: one thing I just realized is that I have a soft of "all or nothing" mentality. It's like I need to get a home run every time I step up to the plate, otherwise it's not worth stepping up to the plate at all. Like I don't want to put in the tedious work and want a magic pill. It's funny because I don't believe in a magic pill. Maybe that's why I'm so apathetic.

Good stuff on Ver. A.