09-06-2017, 02:35 AM
(09-05-2017, 11:58 PM)Rayhon Wrote: I haven't smoked weed today, threw away my weed pipe and had no urge to relapse on weed.
I did however end up fapping while going to bed because I started "edging"..
Can't do that anymore. I lasted 144 days once without fapping 4 years ago. I can do it again. It took me a few tries to get to that point because I kept edging and failing. I CANT do that though this time around. I need to harness this energy and see my full potentional. I remember 4 years ago when I stopped fapping for 144 days I had the best eye contact and self esteem around women I had ever had prior to that. (it was the no porn that did it, i also didn't watch porn during those 144 days)
Anyways, I keep thinking how stupid I am to not have gotten that strippers number, she was clearly into me she even said it her self and she clearly wanted to bang me. Learning lesson though, next time I get such strong IoI's and sex signals from a women I'm GOING TO ESCALATE THINGS into relationship/bang.
I HATE looking back in regret, such a terrible feeling. Oh well, it's all about the journey, one day I'll look back laughing.
I've seen it with my own eyes, this geeky Asian guy I knew pulled a pornstar back to our hotel in Vegas and she was really into him but for whatever reason he self sabotaged it.
His own feelings of inadequacy and that this is too good to be true for him kicked in so that external reality would match what his internal belief system was. That may appear again for you, the self sabotage. Be aware of it and what it is so that next time you can push through. Also look towards clearing it out because on this path you'll be meeting plenty of other insanely hot women.
Sometimes we have to prepare our minds for the arrival of what we want. If it arrives and we're not prepared, I.e lottery winners who don't understand money management, or hot women taking interest in a guy who doesn't ever get such interest, then the subconscious mind might work to bring the the person back to a more familiar level.
