08-10-2017, 08:59 PM
Still dowsing, still coming up with 2 loops of DMSI Version B. Running masked only tonight. I'm listening now, and trying to finish before going to bed for a change.
Did masked/hybrid combo the last two nights - switching the order each day. Didn't notice much difference, other than after the hybrid track finished last night, my eyes snapped open and I was suddenly thinking about my MIL/FIL and things I hate about them. Totally ruined any thought I had of going back to sleep. Then, my daughter started crying and my wife got up to feed her. I laid there tossing and turning, until I finally went downstairs and laid on the couch. I used Brain.FM to get me to relax and "turn off my brain," which helped. I think I got 3 hours of sleep, eventually.
I've had progress in areas that don't directly involve interaction with women, but my career, as well as music I've been working on.
I'll just list some of the stuff:
-Bought equipment to record guitar/vocals at home.
-Learning about home recording techniques using Audacity.
-Playing a lot of guitar, and my song writing is flowing amazingly. I liken it to a form of psychic gift, where songs literally just come to me out of the ether. I've always been this way, but DMSI is opening me up more than ever to receiving like a flood. I've been thinking about really getting after this avenue more and more, lately. I see all these shows of people starting DIY businesses, or people posting Instagram photos/making Facebook posts with their work/creations/art/what-have-you, and everyone is always like, "Good for you! Amazing!". What's different about my ability to make music and share it? It truely is *my gift* - the one natural aptitude I was born with. I have a natural inclination toward learning and performing, perfect pitch, and an eerie ability to pull a catchy hook (redundant much?) out of the air. It's crazy how I've held myself back all these years, ever since my parents told me how becoming a working musician was just a pipe dream, that a degree was the only way to go. Then, when I have a degree, I could "do whatever I wanted..." but we all know how that turned out. I still remember asking to go to school to become a recording engineer, and my dad comes back with an offer (he had a connection) to become a radio engineer. It's not even close to the same thing, and I remember thinking, "Do you even listen to me or what *I* want?" But I digress. Now, I'm diving headlong into music again, and I should. While I kick myself for not getting to this point before now, it's almost like this is how it was always supposed to be...that this is just the beginning of "my time."
-Anger issues are down. Some things I'd normally rage I'm actually weathering very well. It's a relief that I can see headway in that dept.
-I posted shirtless photos using PhotoGrid to my Instagram account with hashtags related to my personal training business. All the likes have come from women, and quite a few are my wife's friends and coworkers. A male client from years ago also "liked" it. Who knows, perhaps he'll start back. In the past, I would have talked myself out of this kind of thing as "showing off," but now I have no shame about it. None. #feelsgoodman
Side Note: I forgot that my SIL follows my Instagram. No "like" from her, yet. I didn't even consciously think about her possibly seeing it until after I posted. Haha, it's just a preview, anyway - our annual fishing trip with my wife's side of the family is coming up in 16 days and I'm getting more ripped each passing second. Many hours of kayaking and swimming to be done...
-Still getting many looks, IOIs, and the more it happens the less I care. I don't smile at them, I don't talk to them, and I don't know what to make of that, exactly.
-Continue to experience high motivation and will power, in general. I'm especially dialed in with my workouts, nutrition, supplementation, and music.
-Still no interest in alcohol. None.
-Just booked a trip to Cancun for February. That'll make it easier than ever to keep motivated in the gym this fall/winter.
-Still no sexual effect on wife, really. If I don't make a move or say something, no sex.
-No clue as to LDS target, still.
-No major manifestations, other than stuff like, "Oops, forgot my keys, detour in a way you wouldn't have consciously thought of, now look at some high school girls and get yourself a smile!"
-Libido has been down, in general, since making the switch back to B.
'Til next time...
Did masked/hybrid combo the last two nights - switching the order each day. Didn't notice much difference, other than after the hybrid track finished last night, my eyes snapped open and I was suddenly thinking about my MIL/FIL and things I hate about them. Totally ruined any thought I had of going back to sleep. Then, my daughter started crying and my wife got up to feed her. I laid there tossing and turning, until I finally went downstairs and laid on the couch. I used Brain.FM to get me to relax and "turn off my brain," which helped. I think I got 3 hours of sleep, eventually.
I've had progress in areas that don't directly involve interaction with women, but my career, as well as music I've been working on.
I'll just list some of the stuff:
-Bought equipment to record guitar/vocals at home.
-Learning about home recording techniques using Audacity.
-Playing a lot of guitar, and my song writing is flowing amazingly. I liken it to a form of psychic gift, where songs literally just come to me out of the ether. I've always been this way, but DMSI is opening me up more than ever to receiving like a flood. I've been thinking about really getting after this avenue more and more, lately. I see all these shows of people starting DIY businesses, or people posting Instagram photos/making Facebook posts with their work/creations/art/what-have-you, and everyone is always like, "Good for you! Amazing!". What's different about my ability to make music and share it? It truely is *my gift* - the one natural aptitude I was born with. I have a natural inclination toward learning and performing, perfect pitch, and an eerie ability to pull a catchy hook (redundant much?) out of the air. It's crazy how I've held myself back all these years, ever since my parents told me how becoming a working musician was just a pipe dream, that a degree was the only way to go. Then, when I have a degree, I could "do whatever I wanted..." but we all know how that turned out. I still remember asking to go to school to become a recording engineer, and my dad comes back with an offer (he had a connection) to become a radio engineer. It's not even close to the same thing, and I remember thinking, "Do you even listen to me or what *I* want?" But I digress. Now, I'm diving headlong into music again, and I should. While I kick myself for not getting to this point before now, it's almost like this is how it was always supposed to be...that this is just the beginning of "my time."
-Anger issues are down. Some things I'd normally rage I'm actually weathering very well. It's a relief that I can see headway in that dept.
-I posted shirtless photos using PhotoGrid to my Instagram account with hashtags related to my personal training business. All the likes have come from women, and quite a few are my wife's friends and coworkers. A male client from years ago also "liked" it. Who knows, perhaps he'll start back. In the past, I would have talked myself out of this kind of thing as "showing off," but now I have no shame about it. None. #feelsgoodman
Side Note: I forgot that my SIL follows my Instagram. No "like" from her, yet. I didn't even consciously think about her possibly seeing it until after I posted. Haha, it's just a preview, anyway - our annual fishing trip with my wife's side of the family is coming up in 16 days and I'm getting more ripped each passing second. Many hours of kayaking and swimming to be done...
-Still getting many looks, IOIs, and the more it happens the less I care. I don't smile at them, I don't talk to them, and I don't know what to make of that, exactly.
-Continue to experience high motivation and will power, in general. I'm especially dialed in with my workouts, nutrition, supplementation, and music.
-Still no interest in alcohol. None.
-Just booked a trip to Cancun for February. That'll make it easier than ever to keep motivated in the gym this fall/winter.
-Still no sexual effect on wife, really. If I don't make a move or say something, no sex.
-No clue as to LDS target, still.
-No major manifestations, other than stuff like, "Oops, forgot my keys, detour in a way you wouldn't have consciously thought of, now look at some high school girls and get yourself a smile!"
-Libido has been down, in general, since making the switch back to B.
'Til next time...
