Things seem to smoothen out and go one notch up. Talked with A today and she was creamin. Like litterally licking her lips, longing eyes and what not. My whole face did freaking twitch and tremble. Idk wtf thats about. Im becoming self actualized and know. A became like clay in my hands and I envision it live and clear. Also, the talk in the tread of herr Dr, is inspiring, about style and such. Last few days are breakthroughs.
This month is expensive. Leg gets better now, atleast, the painkillers seem to help yet cant help but think the origins of the injury come from something else. When the ibu is waned off its still painfull as shit. Another is my phone screen of my s7 edge that broke and is now damaged. Its as if financial costs keep piling up from every corner :/
Did kill it at the gym. My agression turns up and each hit increases it. Like remembering gym motication kicks up my agression a notch. Im growing and get more defined in muscle and physique.
At the gym talked with another women at the counter. Older women. She has something about her which I can't (yet) pinpoint. Talking to her went effortless and caught her bodylanguage. Some cute 8/10 was also wsiting and talked to her. She opened me. Cute girl. Pick her up next time if I see her.
Overal things pick up more clear. Higher up. Im more assertive and calling out is automaticly now, like I own it. Things become more and more automatic. Fears are released. Vision is being clearer. I am also aware of trust and some blocksges. Oh well. Openness to this all is paramount at this point.
Edit: motivation for the gym is pretty much spiking. Like seeing myself grow. Tracking macro's, eating healthy, dressing better. Stronger motivation to get habits back on the road. Tracking macro's wasnt my thing, but disciplinairy order and setting things straight gives me a huge boost. I am already there. It makes things all so much easier, like, more fluid, beneficial and smooth. Slacked in responsibility before. Not anymore. These arent even feeling like sacrifices but rather massively attractive and right. I want to have the best condition for myself. To be in form and being in maximum health.
Also, there seems to be fear going round. Fear as to "how to" in terms of accomplishment and going full on DMSI reality. Im already more clearheaded and the momentum picks up. Its gettin "weird" again, like echo-y internally and in my mind. Interesting times. Also the tearfullness and anxiety coming up in my body makes me relive shit. Its crushing.
This month is expensive. Leg gets better now, atleast, the painkillers seem to help yet cant help but think the origins of the injury come from something else. When the ibu is waned off its still painfull as shit. Another is my phone screen of my s7 edge that broke and is now damaged. Its as if financial costs keep piling up from every corner :/
Did kill it at the gym. My agression turns up and each hit increases it. Like remembering gym motication kicks up my agression a notch. Im growing and get more defined in muscle and physique.
At the gym talked with another women at the counter. Older women. She has something about her which I can't (yet) pinpoint. Talking to her went effortless and caught her bodylanguage. Some cute 8/10 was also wsiting and talked to her. She opened me. Cute girl. Pick her up next time if I see her.
Overal things pick up more clear. Higher up. Im more assertive and calling out is automaticly now, like I own it. Things become more and more automatic. Fears are released. Vision is being clearer. I am also aware of trust and some blocksges. Oh well. Openness to this all is paramount at this point.
Edit: motivation for the gym is pretty much spiking. Like seeing myself grow. Tracking macro's, eating healthy, dressing better. Stronger motivation to get habits back on the road. Tracking macro's wasnt my thing, but disciplinairy order and setting things straight gives me a huge boost. I am already there. It makes things all so much easier, like, more fluid, beneficial and smooth. Slacked in responsibility before. Not anymore. These arent even feeling like sacrifices but rather massively attractive and right. I want to have the best condition for myself. To be in form and being in maximum health.
Also, there seems to be fear going round. Fear as to "how to" in terms of accomplishment and going full on DMSI reality. Im already more clearheaded and the momentum picks up. Its gettin "weird" again, like echo-y internally and in my mind. Interesting times. Also the tearfullness and anxiety coming up in my body makes me relive shit. Its crushing.
