07-21-2017, 09:02 PM
I've mentioned a few times in the past where i've woken up in a panic with fear in my body. Usually it only happens once. And the past times I also woke up sweaty and the fear/panic was there for a while and i'd just stay with it.
Well last night was a little different. I had it 3 times in a row, not long after each other each connected to dreaming something.
First a bird flew into my face and I woke up suddenly in a panic and it kind of felt like it really happened, then I fell asleep again and something else (I can't remember) and again a third time with something else I can't remember either.
Some of it was possibly related to being attacked and more around that. Because I remember at some stage thinking about it again and how maybe working with my Inner Child has allowed deeper parts of it to come up and be dealt with. It's interesting how I worked on it TONS with several methods and thought it was gone but there may still be a bit from it. In the last few years it hasn't been as disabling and obvious and seems like it had gone, but in some ways I still tend to isolate myself at times so who knows.. and that was one of the major effects of the trauma in the first place.
I got past it enough to lose weight, then enough to sleep at girls places again which I wouldn't for years.. now it seems a little more of it is being dealt with.. what specifically and what effect it might have i'm not sure.
I woke up today feeling like shit and when I went to the supermarket I felt like everyone was looking at me in a threatening kind of way.
I went to an osteopath and was going to go somewhere after it. But then decided to come home and do some Inner Bonding instead as that felt more important. It does seem recently i'm isolating myself again a little more, but i'm hoping that's just part of the process of reconnecting with myself more.
Well last night was a little different. I had it 3 times in a row, not long after each other each connected to dreaming something.
First a bird flew into my face and I woke up suddenly in a panic and it kind of felt like it really happened, then I fell asleep again and something else (I can't remember) and again a third time with something else I can't remember either.
Some of it was possibly related to being attacked and more around that. Because I remember at some stage thinking about it again and how maybe working with my Inner Child has allowed deeper parts of it to come up and be dealt with. It's interesting how I worked on it TONS with several methods and thought it was gone but there may still be a bit from it. In the last few years it hasn't been as disabling and obvious and seems like it had gone, but in some ways I still tend to isolate myself at times so who knows.. and that was one of the major effects of the trauma in the first place.
I got past it enough to lose weight, then enough to sleep at girls places again which I wouldn't for years.. now it seems a little more of it is being dealt with.. what specifically and what effect it might have i'm not sure.
I woke up today feeling like shit and when I went to the supermarket I felt like everyone was looking at me in a threatening kind of way.
I went to an osteopath and was going to go somewhere after it. But then decided to come home and do some Inner Bonding instead as that felt more important. It does seem recently i'm isolating myself again a little more, but i'm hoping that's just part of the process of reconnecting with myself more.
