So after 4 loops last night.. my motivation has decreased to work on my abandonment, today I kind of can't be fucked where i've been keen for it most days.
I'll still do the same things i've been doing, but it's weird adding one more loop has had that effect.
When I got up it seemed that increasing loops shifted some focus from 'healing abandonment' to 'wanting to go for girls'. And desire to go back on POF again.
Which yes is the goal of the program in the end BUT healing the abandonment is more important.
EDIT: I think I made the mistake of thinking that DMSI was pushing me to go talk to more girls again, when actually it was just that it brought up the abandonment more. I did a dialogue with it and my Inner Child said "I've been rejected for so many years, I just want girls to make me feel better".
So it just defaulted to my coping mechanism because that's the habit.. where really acceptance is what I need to find inside. I worked with that a little and felt better.
I'll still do the same things i've been doing, but it's weird adding one more loop has had that effect.
When I got up it seemed that increasing loops shifted some focus from 'healing abandonment' to 'wanting to go for girls'. And desire to go back on POF again.
Which yes is the goal of the program in the end BUT healing the abandonment is more important.
EDIT: I think I made the mistake of thinking that DMSI was pushing me to go talk to more girls again, when actually it was just that it brought up the abandonment more. I did a dialogue with it and my Inner Child said "I've been rejected for so many years, I just want girls to make me feel better".
So it just defaulted to my coping mechanism because that's the habit.. where really acceptance is what I need to find inside. I worked with that a little and felt better.
