Something seemed to derail DMSI last night when I was looking up an energy healing method out of interest and someone posted their healing statement in their group and when I read it something seemed to happen. It doesn't make sense but it may be that I did the method once in the past when I listened to a teleseminar. I was pissed off because I had no intent to and wanted to just read testimonials.
Then today felt weird like times i'd done EFT with other programs a few years ago. Maybe it's just that something else come up with the healing, but it seems to coincidental I noticed it when I read that healing statement.
I also noticed a few other things. Recently i've felt more strong in myself which Inner Bonding is helping with, today I didn't so much and the girl i've been seeing sent a message "I have to work tomorrow and finish at 3pm but we could have dinner tomorrow night". We we're meeting at 12 at the gym. She hasn't done that before except once when she suddenly cancelled when I first started seeing her like "Oh i've got something else on" and I got in an argument with her as when I asked what happened she didn't reply and told her it pisses me off.
I guess it was about time for her to pull some shit again, the last one was the 'i'm not in the mood' thing which she's been fine since.
And even more I said "I'm not keen for dinner" and said I wanted to see spiderman as I was going to suggest it anyway and said to come over after she finishes work. She said ok, and now a few hours later sends "How about we do dinner and movies, we could meet at 5pm".
WTF.. the first thing could be either way and she could genuinely have to work though I was annoyed she just said it today. But this message now trying to meet later AGAIN... she's trying some bullshit.
I sent back "What's wrong with coming here after work as we organized? I'd rather eat here then goto the movie".
If she replies with more shit like "Ok i'll come over just before the movie" then i'll just cancel tomorrow alltogether as she's already fucking me around. I stayed calm with the work thing because I thought "Ok yeah that could be legit" but the follow up shows she's being a tard.
The interesting thing though is this.. I had the thought last night about how i've been feeling more 'whole' in myself recently and not looking 'outside' as much for girls attention, then I had the thought "Could I only be feeling that temporarily because i'm seeing her, and usually when I start seeing someone I feel that more?".
And today when she sent the first message I definately felt it trigger feelings of rejection and such. I worked on that today with Inner Bonding and felt a little better.
The other thing that is more a negative. When she was like "I'm not in the mood" for sex and I kicked her out, it worked out well. But for the whole week until I seen her in the gym and talked to her I thought i'd lost her and there was a huge emotional intensity, so much that my mind was telling me "I'll never do something like that again, it's too stressful and intense on me" and now i'm unable to get as angry at these things. I see that as a negative because it's that emotional intensity stopping me from even connecting with my anger at being fucked around as much.
EDIT: This may or may not be related, but the last time she pulled bullshit was when I spent a few hours with her another day through the week without having sex (we didn't goto my place) when she ended up going to the gym at the same time as me... as in we hadn't organized to meet, which I did this week too, and now more bs.
The last thing, not related to her. Today also when I went down the street I was way more checking out girls blatantly again where recently I haven't cared as much i've just been more internally focused, still looking at them but not like today.
Then today felt weird like times i'd done EFT with other programs a few years ago. Maybe it's just that something else come up with the healing, but it seems to coincidental I noticed it when I read that healing statement.
I also noticed a few other things. Recently i've felt more strong in myself which Inner Bonding is helping with, today I didn't so much and the girl i've been seeing sent a message "I have to work tomorrow and finish at 3pm but we could have dinner tomorrow night". We we're meeting at 12 at the gym. She hasn't done that before except once when she suddenly cancelled when I first started seeing her like "Oh i've got something else on" and I got in an argument with her as when I asked what happened she didn't reply and told her it pisses me off.
I guess it was about time for her to pull some shit again, the last one was the 'i'm not in the mood' thing which she's been fine since.
And even more I said "I'm not keen for dinner" and said I wanted to see spiderman as I was going to suggest it anyway and said to come over after she finishes work. She said ok, and now a few hours later sends "How about we do dinner and movies, we could meet at 5pm".
WTF.. the first thing could be either way and she could genuinely have to work though I was annoyed she just said it today. But this message now trying to meet later AGAIN... she's trying some bullshit.
I sent back "What's wrong with coming here after work as we organized? I'd rather eat here then goto the movie".
If she replies with more shit like "Ok i'll come over just before the movie" then i'll just cancel tomorrow alltogether as she's already fucking me around. I stayed calm with the work thing because I thought "Ok yeah that could be legit" but the follow up shows she's being a tard.
The interesting thing though is this.. I had the thought last night about how i've been feeling more 'whole' in myself recently and not looking 'outside' as much for girls attention, then I had the thought "Could I only be feeling that temporarily because i'm seeing her, and usually when I start seeing someone I feel that more?".
And today when she sent the first message I definately felt it trigger feelings of rejection and such. I worked on that today with Inner Bonding and felt a little better.
The other thing that is more a negative. When she was like "I'm not in the mood" for sex and I kicked her out, it worked out well. But for the whole week until I seen her in the gym and talked to her I thought i'd lost her and there was a huge emotional intensity, so much that my mind was telling me "I'll never do something like that again, it's too stressful and intense on me" and now i'm unable to get as angry at these things. I see that as a negative because it's that emotional intensity stopping me from even connecting with my anger at being fucked around as much.
EDIT: This may or may not be related, but the last time she pulled bullshit was when I spent a few hours with her another day through the week without having sex (we didn't goto my place) when she ended up going to the gym at the same time as me... as in we hadn't organized to meet, which I did this week too, and now more bs.
The last thing, not related to her. Today also when I went down the street I was way more checking out girls blatantly again where recently I haven't cared as much i've just been more internally focused, still looking at them but not like today.
