Going out today confirmed what I mentioned in a previous post 2 posts back.
I felt good.. walking around feeling calm and happy in myself. But when it come to reaching out socially and interacting, like a girl serving me when I got coffee, I felt weak and kind of weird.. and I could even hear it in my own voice.
It's like healing and working with the Inner Child stuff is at the moment 'sensetizing' me.. because there was this sexy girl in a dress walking down the street that I was checking out. She stopped in front of me at the traffic lights where I was crossing... and I started to actually get nervous which is unusual since I don't usually feel that anymore. And I didn't end up saying anything though I wanted to.
Though it could just be bringing that up, because alot of the time when it's not naturally flowing it feels more like a 'blocked' or 'numb' feeling and I just don't talk to them, maybe this was what is below that and I didn't want to feel it so pushed it down and reconnecting with parts of myself it's now in my awareness again.
The other thing similar to that. On B with 5 loops I felt kind of numb and akward but not really emotional, just bleak kind of. On A with 3 loops i'm feeling emotional like sadness and such coming up. It's like doing less has given it room to come up or something.
I felt good.. walking around feeling calm and happy in myself. But when it come to reaching out socially and interacting, like a girl serving me when I got coffee, I felt weak and kind of weird.. and I could even hear it in my own voice.
It's like healing and working with the Inner Child stuff is at the moment 'sensetizing' me.. because there was this sexy girl in a dress walking down the street that I was checking out. She stopped in front of me at the traffic lights where I was crossing... and I started to actually get nervous which is unusual since I don't usually feel that anymore. And I didn't end up saying anything though I wanted to.
Though it could just be bringing that up, because alot of the time when it's not naturally flowing it feels more like a 'blocked' or 'numb' feeling and I just don't talk to them, maybe this was what is below that and I didn't want to feel it so pushed it down and reconnecting with parts of myself it's now in my awareness again.
The other thing similar to that. On B with 5 loops I felt kind of numb and akward but not really emotional, just bleak kind of. On A with 3 loops i'm feeling emotional like sadness and such coming up. It's like doing less has given it room to come up or something.
