07-02-2017, 11:16 PM
Felt way better and more 'normal' back on A. Most of the time on B I just felt awkward and socially retarded.
Interestingly it seems the 'Inner Bonding' type stuff i've been doing is similar to E2.. I can't pinpoint when the feeling of wanting a girlfriend again come up, but I had that feeling more on E2.. plus a few other things like when I woke up today thinking about stuff like drawing which I started to do again on E2 but during DMSI lost interest in it again and couldn't be bothered.
Also on DMSI i've lost some interest in going out and doing stuff with girls, or atleast not got as much enjoyment from it as on E2. So it's like it was connecting me more with myself, the 'become a person that makes you happy' programming seems to apply. I'm pretty sure I was happier who I was being while on E2 and getting more joy from things.
The 'girlfriend' thing also is interesting. I had the thought today that some of my wanting to fuck more and more girls is connected to my abandonment and wanting to feel 'whole' from doing so and feel better about myself. And Inner Bonding works on that and it's lessening my interest in doing so. I don't really want to be just with 1 girl, but if I can reach a place where i'm feeling 'whole' in myself and not 'reaching out' in a needy way and instead am connecting with girls I enjoy instead of just "please make me feel better" then that's going to be alot better for both sides.
So it is interesting the Inner Bonding stuff is mimicking E2 in some ways. I guess without being aware at the time E2 was working on my Inner Child and now Inner Bonding is continuing that though i'm not fully doing it as specified, just my own take on what I read.
I don't really know where it's going to lead me, or if it's conflicting with DMSI... but initial thoughts is it's beneficial. And sway testing told me that it's beneficial for me with DMSI without derailing it. Even if it might a little so far i'm liking the dialoguing.
Interestingly it seems the 'Inner Bonding' type stuff i've been doing is similar to E2.. I can't pinpoint when the feeling of wanting a girlfriend again come up, but I had that feeling more on E2.. plus a few other things like when I woke up today thinking about stuff like drawing which I started to do again on E2 but during DMSI lost interest in it again and couldn't be bothered.
Also on DMSI i've lost some interest in going out and doing stuff with girls, or atleast not got as much enjoyment from it as on E2. So it's like it was connecting me more with myself, the 'become a person that makes you happy' programming seems to apply. I'm pretty sure I was happier who I was being while on E2 and getting more joy from things.
The 'girlfriend' thing also is interesting. I had the thought today that some of my wanting to fuck more and more girls is connected to my abandonment and wanting to feel 'whole' from doing so and feel better about myself. And Inner Bonding works on that and it's lessening my interest in doing so. I don't really want to be just with 1 girl, but if I can reach a place where i'm feeling 'whole' in myself and not 'reaching out' in a needy way and instead am connecting with girls I enjoy instead of just "please make me feel better" then that's going to be alot better for both sides.
So it is interesting the Inner Bonding stuff is mimicking E2 in some ways. I guess without being aware at the time E2 was working on my Inner Child and now Inner Bonding is continuing that though i'm not fully doing it as specified, just my own take on what I read.
I don't really know where it's going to lead me, or if it's conflicting with DMSI... but initial thoughts is it's beneficial. And sway testing told me that it's beneficial for me with DMSI without derailing it. Even if it might a little so far i'm liking the dialoguing.