Shannon's Journal

[Shannon]

Shannon I've been having a bit of a rough time lately and need some advice. My biggest fear right now is going through this set and then not having it affect me enough. Stage 2 was really rough and stage 3 is a little better, but still it's been pretty hard on me. I think I'm one of those people that has a lot of resistance that affects my ability to grow or change. Don't get me wrong though, I've noticed I have made improvements thanks to this set, but I still feel like I've been resisting change.

I've also started watching my negative thinking more and challenging those thoughts that pop into my head. I used to take the approach of ignoring them, but I feel like it was more like suppressing them and then it became a bad habit of thinking negatively beyond my conscious awareness. It takes a lot of energy to fight off the negative thinking, but I realized that I need to do something about it, I can't just keep accepting this thinking.

Which this leads me to my next question. Currently I don't play the subliminal 24/7. I only play it at night and get about 8-10 hours of exposure every night. Is that enough? I was thinking about playing it 24/7 to drown out all the negative thinking. Or would this be too taxing on my mind?

I don't know as much about the workings of the subconscious mind as you, but I'm wondering if the sub could actually be making me think more negatively? I've noticed if I try to think positive my mind has a tendency to flip it around and tell me I'm lying to myself.

I'm just trying to figure things out right now and it's just really really hard. I pretty much feel like I'm stuck. I can't really describe how I feel, but it's like knowing the destination and having no gas in the tank. It's beyond frustrating.

What you describe is usually a situational result of having one or more deep fears that are rooted in things you are not dealing with through the subliminal you are using, and when you try to remove it, it tends to have something holding it in place which causes aggressive resistance, since it is based in fear.

There are generally three things you can do.

1. You can try to use the subliminal more, and force a change. How much is up to you. 24/7 is going to allow very little time for processing, but in your case that might be what you need. I'd leave at least an hour a day off, though.
   
2. You can try to figure out the root cause of the issue and deal with it specifically. That will probably require hypnotherapy.
   
3. You can try to select a subliminal that you think will help, and try that.
   

Thanks Shannon. I'll just stick to my current amount of listening for now. As much as I want to force change I don't know if I'll be able to handle the stress from it. I gave disconnect from negativity within a try a couple of months back and I felt some change, but nothing too major. As much as I would like to try out a new sub I honestly have no idea where to begin. I think hypnotherapy would be my best shot here, but again I can't identify what it is that causes so much fear in my life. The thing that bothers me the most is I've convinced myself that this is my personality or a part of me. I guess I created a coping mechanism so I wouldn't have to deal with the fear all the time. But I honestly can't imagine me being free of fear, it's so engrained in me that I know nothing else.

I read about reincarnation and past lives sometime ago. The fact that I have fear as a dominant factor in my life makes me think I was a terrible person in a past life that caused fear in others or I wasn't cautious enough and was a fool. I feel like I've been punished all these years and for some reason I've come to believe that I deserve most of it. I don't know maybe I've been given this fear for a reason and I'm meant to overcome it. I can't make sense of a lot of things and I still can't understand why I am the way I am.

The job of a competent hypnotheraist would be to discover what is causing your problem. Not you. The subconscious is veiled from the conscious.

As to karma, it is a much misunderstood concept in a lot of parts of the world. The perception is that if you have some challenge in this life, you must be getting punished for something you did in the past. While it is possible to have chosen the body and circumstances that force you to endure equal pain and difficulty that you caused in a different life, in order to understand what you did and learn not to do it again (find your way again), it is also common for souls to choose a challenging body/life without compulsion of karma simply to learn faster, if they are ambitious.

The idea that you are being punished, however, is always wrong. Karma is not punishment, it is balance. Karma seeks no vengeance, nor does it tsk tsk you or scold you. It exists purely to show you how to find your way back to the path you need to be on to achieve your ultimate goals. Guilt/shame/fear, therefore, is useless, and will only serve to slow you down in your journey. And feeling guilty about being afraid is a double mind-fuck.

Find a competent hypnotherapist and explain that your goal is to truly understand what is causing your circumstances, and have it released if possible.

How long did you use disconnect from negativity? In your case, I would say it would need at least three months of use to get a good foothold and begin doing serious work. Keep using it with AM.

I only used disconnect from negativity for a month, which probably wasn't enough. I can use it at the same time as alpha? What would be the best way to do that, have them alternate between each other at night or listen to one during the day and the other at night?

I'll look into a hypnotherapist. Hopefully I can find a competent one. My only worry is that I won't be able to trust him or her enough and my fear based resistance kicks in.

You can use those two back to back in a playlist. That would be fine.