06-13-2017, 07:02 AM
I don't know if AM stage 7 is too much for me and I'm stuck right now or battling through something. I thought I was doing ok with it, but I just realized I've been cherry picking the stuff that makes me feel good and avoiding the real growth. I don't know what this would be called, selective resistance? It's like I've been focusing on all the flash of being alpha without the substance if that makes any sense. At this point I don't know where this is going to go. I'm sitting here right now and realizing I've somehow been mentally checking out and finding a way to avoid the subs influence. Right now I'm just focusing on sitting with the feelings AM6 is bringing up and the fear is really intense. Like I said, I don't know if this is going to end up with me pushing through the fear or I'm just running into a brickwall here. I find myself dissociating a lot from the subs influence which is no good for growth and it happens without me realizing it a lot of the time until I catch myself again. I'll be done July 1st with stage 7, but at this point I don't think there's much growth left on this stage because a lot of what I'm running across seems better suited for some deep targeted healing.
