3.3.1-D The Journey Continues

[Dutchman610]

So to start I believe I need to give some background information. It's been over 6 months since last using DMSI. I felt I need a stronger base foundation to get the results I wanted out of DSMI. Long story short I did another full run of Alpha Male 5.0. 

Here are some of the noteworthy changes:

-Today marks 19 days of sobriety (my all time best is 30 days)

-12 days of consistency going to the gym

-17 days of consistency working each day(I only work a couple hours a day due to vehicle availability) I used to take days off due to either having a hangover or choosing to drink instead.

-I'm eating healthy in fact a lot of junk food just makes me feel sick as soon as I eat it.

-I've cleaned my room significantly.

-I noticed recently that nearly ever single person I interact with has a huge smile on there face. More so with its with an attractive female.

-I feel near to no stress in my day to day life.

-Road rage has gone down almost to zero(I used to be the guy who loved giving the finger whenever possible) I used to have my hand ready with the horn. Just in case hoping someone would fuck up because it gave me enjoyment.

-Porn watch has been cut dramaticly( there used to be times I'd watch for hours) now maybe less than 30mins. It's been mostly replaced with erotic audios and my imagination.

I believe I'm ready to get back into DSMI and grow even more. 


Last night was day 2 and I notice a new thought cross my mind. As I was searching up some porn, "Why am I doing this?" popped into my head. So I just closed the tab and went to look for an audio instead. I plan on focusing on this more, my sexual energy has been though the roof. It well be extremely beneficial to harness this energy.

[Benjamin]

Welcome back. Good results.

[Dutchman610]

Day 4

I've worked more on cultivating more desire for real women not PMO since last post. Today it has started to bare some fruit, didn't have any impulse to look at porn or listen to any audios. The thoughts that run in my head is " what's the point it's just a waste of time". I have this program and I'm sure once I hit my goal it well be easier. I know I can wait it out I have a goal of getting a six pack by this summer. Which is going good still in the gym everyday. Today I took my first day off after 2 weeks of consistency working(I'm my own boss so choose my own hours). Even though I took a day off to relax was still motivated to go the gym. I feel as if I have to go it feels weird even thinking about not going. I'm eating healthy and doing intermittent fasting but my body still in an adjustment phase. Which I'm sure we'll pass soon than its smooth sailing.

[Dutchman610]

Day 5

I weighted myself today, it's been 21 days now of sobriety and about 2 weeks consistency in the gym. Yet, I haven't lost any weight a friend told me not to let it discourage me. This statement rang even more true while on shift today. No good orders(high payout +good tip) were coming through. Just as I was about to sign out and head to the gym. An order good order came in, this made me realize I need to keep pushing on till I can find the light.

It's day 2 of no PMO, it's a weird feeling. It's bringing up some anxiety in my ability to find a real girl. I have to question these feeling so I can move foward. Things are going pretty good right now, just need to try harder each day. There are many things I want to incorporate into my daily life just need to add them in one at a time. I know results are just are the corner even though I can't see it now.

[Dutchman610]

Day 6

After some research and questioning, I found some reasons why I may not be losing weight right now. The main reason was I used me going to the gym as an excuse to treat myself. It's important to treat yourself for hardwork but I was doing it with the wrong kinds of food aka fruit juice and take out. I've switched this thinking today I treated myself to a T-bone steak. I have also upped the intensity of my workouts at the gym to make a greater calories deficit.

Day 3 of no PMO, I had this random thought pop into my head "maybe all I deserve is porn" I know it's a false statement. After talking with a friend he reminded me the mind and body are resist to change. To help ease the change I've looked into Invisalign braces to fix my smile to gain more self confidence. I know the first week is always the hardest. I'm already starting to see women as more of someone to have fun with not a sex object.

Today as I was swimming two cute girls came into my lane (normally it's used by one person and it's roped off from the rest of the pool). We shared it for about 30 mins, I didn't feel nervous at all. I struck up some small talk and gave them some pointers on there form(it looked like they were having a hard time). They thanked me for sharing the lane and that my advice helped out. I'm pretty ok with my appearance right now since I know it's only temporary. It's a different story when it comes to the opposite sex.

[Dutchman610]

Day 7

My goal for this upcoming week is fully clean my room and organize it. To do this I plan on waking up before my alarm and using that time. I'm tired of using my messy room as an excuse to not approach girls. I know if I ended up bringing one over they just run when they saw it. I plan to keep it clean this time last time it was fully cleaned was back in December of 2017.

I think I had my first taste of being in autopilot that morning. I went to just use the washroom before I knew it I was brushing my teeth without conscious choosing to do so. It was halfway though I wondered what I was doing. I do brush every night before bed never in the morning. I feel my subconscious acted on its own because it knows I'd like to take care of my teeth.

[Dutchman610]

Day 8 (off day)

So today was being good despite being totally drained of energy. I noticed myself smiling for no reason throughout the day. When I dove deeper it was clear its due to the pride I feel for how far I've come and excitement for the future. I'm feeling stronger both physically and mentally each day. I was close to not going to the gym today but mental toughness kicked in. Once I got there I was glad and went. Also had a boast of energy which helped me push myself during my workout.

I was doing more research into possible reason I haven't been losing weight. The results are I've added more protien and water consumption to my diet. To help with my energy levels and overall success of this sub. I grabbed a good multi-vitamin I used to use. The main reason I stopped using it was finical. Being sober and working everyday has really helped out the wallet situation greatly. I don't see any signs of slowing down. Anytime a problem comes up I've been able to find a solution that very day. Procrastination is nearly a thing of the past, honestly can't remember the last time I said tomorrow instead of today.

[Dutchman610]

Day 12 (day 2 on)

The last few days I've been in mostly recovery due to a bad reaction to melatonin I had taken on the night of day 8. I'm finally done with the headaches. I did have to take one day off work, it was rather slow anyway. I'm still be able to keep on track to hit my bonus for this week despite feeling so bad previous. The weirdest thing is the supplement I had taken, I used back in 2017 while on AM6 and had no problems. The only difference is now I'm on DMSI, I suppose the state-shifting technology didn't like it. Has anyone else come into this situation while on DSMI?

The healthy eating has been keeping up, and slowly improving where I can. Great news, my determination is starting to pay off the weight is starting to drop at a good rate. So it's just been feeding back into my motivation to keep on track. I'm back in the gym tomorrow, between not feeling good and going for my bonus I felt I needed a short break. I remembered my first dream since starting DSMI. In it I was driving my truck, but no matter what I did I could not stop it for moving foward. This reinforced some advice I got on a possible reason I've been having trouble sleeping. That I haven't been taking rest days and my body didn't know when to slow down.

I ended up breaking my PMO this doesn't mean I just give up though. If I learned anything from being sober for 29 days now. Just keep trying one of these attempts well stick. I did learn about some of my triggers. So here's to this attempt going for longer than 6 days.

[Dutchman610]

Day 13 (Day 3 on)

I was about to hit my bonus for the week, I want to build up more stamina so I can work this hard each week. After work I was so tired I almost didn't go to the gym. It's always a little harder to get back in the gym after taken a few days off. I did say in my journal I would go that day. I felt I had to keep my word and promise I made to myself.

It was great the multi-vitamins feel like there all ready starting to help with energy levels. I felt that I had to push myself more so upped my laps from 15 to 20 did it brought the same time. Just to make sure going to start timing from now on. Starting to feel muscles in places I've never felt before.

Day 2 of no PMO, I did listen to a few audios last night. However I heard off and resisted building the lust to a point I couldn't control. I think I can keep it up and use this energy for useful things.

 I know DSMI is a big help, but I've also been looking into books to help with the conscious side. My greatest fear when it comes to women it's not knowing what to say. I may as well work on take so it's one less thing for DMSI to worry about.

[Dutchman610]

Day 15 (day 5 on)

So during my weight training yesterday I ended up during it short. It was due to my heart not being able to keep up to the new higher weight this week. To solve this problem I have upped my laps in the pool to 25. Now that I know my cardio is the weakest I can improve it.

My sleep as gotten a lot better and I wake up a couple hours before my alarm. Even though I'm making pretty decent money right now because I work everyday. I need to think about the future. I would like to buy a house and my own car. So I've signed up for school again to better myself.

(Edit) I recently got a hair cut after 3 months. I went and got myself some new cologne and a teeth whitening kit. All this to help attract more female attention.

[Dutchman610]

Day 16 (day 6 on)

Today it wasn't to busy at work, so I took sometime to check out a MMA gym near me. I've been interested in learn self-defence. I believe it be a great for my self confidence aswell. I am pretty tall so I know I have a good build if I wanted to take it anywhere down the road. I think it well be down right fun to train, it well help us up some of this free time I have.

Something I tired to help with my sleep and all around knowledge is reading before bed. To be honest what I read was just what I needed in this moment. "Obsession can lead to failure due to the fact the subconscious mind can't make it into flesh. The conscious must forget the desire and focus on so thing else. Once this is done the desire will be based in fact and become flesh. Failure results in angry and can lead to trouble down the road". What this means to me is not being desperate and what you desire we'll find you. This is another reason I believe filling up my day with new hobbies and activities well pay off in the long run.

[Dutchman610]

Day 18 (day 1 off)

I'm excited to try my mma class tomorrow, I know it's going to be intense so took the last 2 days off the gym. That way I can be fresh I may end up going to the gym afterwards. They offer a good selection of classes. The plan is to start doing classes before work and continue going to the gym after work.

Another thing I did today is get a used laptop I can start using for school. I'm going to start with online for now until the new semester starts in the fall. I'm feeling pretty confident when it comes to English now. I've been noticing because of dealing with customers, writing this journal, and reading. My spelling has been improving tremendously since the last time I went to school. The plan is to get as much as I can get down online. That way I can just apply for the course I want instead of doing academic upgrading.

[Dutchman610]

Day 20 (day 3 off)

So I did my Maui Thai class yesterday, within the first 10 mins my shirt was full of sweat. I thought my cardio would be better since I've been going to the gym. I still had a lot of fun and decided to sign up for 3 months. At first I was fine afterwards must have been the adrenaline but after a hour I was dead tired. I'm looking foward to going back tomorrow though. I asked the coach about there belts since you need 3 strips for sparing. He told me on average it takes 2 months to get 1 strip. It's possible to achieve it in 1 month with hardwork which is my goal.

I noticed something today DMSI related. I took my mom into the city so she could get some flowers. I didn't realize tell we were down at the coffee shop. The fact is we were there for a good 20 mins are so. I kept control of the conversation and kept it going without feeling any anxiety or thinking to much on what to say. In the past I would have normal convinced her to not stay or to hurry up and finish the coffee. It was a pleasant surprise, I'm feeling more confident that I can hold a conversation.

[Benjamin]

It's a totally different kind of fitness than the gym.

I remember going to a mma fitness class, thinking I would be fine as I was doing hard workouts at the gym. And I was obviously the most in shape person in this class.. by the look of it.

Until it started, man there was like these out of shape dudes with a bit of a gut who did better than me, it was a totally different kind of fitness and past my initial burst of being able to go hard I was fucked. Pretty work out by the end.