06-07-2017, 08:28 AM
Looking back on things I'm so critical of everyone, but it's all just a reflection of me. When someone has been upset and gets angry, I feel fear, when someone expresses sadness or vulnerability I feel shame, and when someone express how they want something and how they are deserving of good things in their life I feel guilt. For some reason I cannot fathom, I am an emotionally unhealthy individual because I don't even consider my emotional needs as a person. I just demand myself to be perfect and just shrug things off and to not feel. As a consequence of this I'm easily manipulated by others.
I just don't get it anymore really. Like I don't understand what I have to do in my life. For these past few months I've just been obsessing over finding a steady career financially. I've just been focusing on outside goals thinking that's what was making me feel awful. But I don't know anymore. I've had this feeling before in AM6, it feels like finding myself but then realizing that my true self is wounded and needs to heal and the outward self I've been presenting has been a sort of shield for this wounded self.
It just makes me think. Is everyone secretly battling with this? Or are they oblivious? Or am I just kind of messed up and my assumption that everyone is like this has caused me to be far too harsh with myself over the years?
Definitely looking towards dmsi version a to clear these things up. I feel like these issues were pretty much the bottleneck for AM6 when I ran it.
I just don't get it anymore really. Like I don't understand what I have to do in my life. For these past few months I've just been obsessing over finding a steady career financially. I've just been focusing on outside goals thinking that's what was making me feel awful. But I don't know anymore. I've had this feeling before in AM6, it feels like finding myself but then realizing that my true self is wounded and needs to heal and the outward self I've been presenting has been a sort of shield for this wounded self.
It just makes me think. Is everyone secretly battling with this? Or are they oblivious? Or am I just kind of messed up and my assumption that everyone is like this has caused me to be far too harsh with myself over the years?
Definitely looking towards dmsi version a to clear these things up. I feel like these issues were pretty much the bottleneck for AM6 when I ran it.
