05-26-2017, 06:29 AM
Figured out where most my growth lies. It's just being able to accept the parts of myself I don't like. And what I mean by that is the feelings like insecurity, jealousy, sadness, neediness, anger, etc. All the things that I've labeled as undesirable, but the more I fight them the more control they have over me. The key is not letting these things define me, but also not actively resisting and pushing them away. Basically I need to be a whole human being, not cherry picking the parts of myself I find "good" and living through that mask 24/7.
Even running this AM6 sub there's a desire to be better, which isn't bad. It's only bad when I'm too attached to that idea of being better and basing my worth on it. Just because I'm not the most alpha guy doesn't mean I've failed in life. I should be doing this for myself, nobody else. I also realized the other day if I can't look in the mirror and tell myself I'm a confident person and I love myself without feeling shame, there's still a lot I need to work on. I think part of me is afraid to stand out because I do feel different. I've always felt a bit out of place. Whether or not I am a bit different or not, I can't say because I'm sure that's a shared experience among a lot of people. But the point is, I have to embrace that because it's who I am and who I'll always be.
Even running this AM6 sub there's a desire to be better, which isn't bad. It's only bad when I'm too attached to that idea of being better and basing my worth on it. Just because I'm not the most alpha guy doesn't mean I've failed in life. I should be doing this for myself, nobody else. I also realized the other day if I can't look in the mirror and tell myself I'm a confident person and I love myself without feeling shame, there's still a lot I need to work on. I think part of me is afraid to stand out because I do feel different. I've always felt a bit out of place. Whether or not I am a bit different or not, I can't say because I'm sure that's a shared experience among a lot of people. But the point is, I have to embrace that because it's who I am and who I'll always be.
