A Sexy Alex, stage 2: DMSI Journal (now 3.3.2!)

[apollolux]

Ok, now that I've allowed myself a few moments to write here, below is the list of the remembered observations I've made running 32 days of 3.1B after 32 days of 3.1A:

* the 32 days coincided with about the same period of time I was most physically involved in my building's restoration project
* the hunger remained about the same high levels, but I felt more inclined to eat junkier ("comfort"?) foods like a pack of 6 croissants in one sitting, peanut butter straight from the jar, multiple bowls of store-brand Golden Grahams in one sitting, or a large (32 fl.oz.) soda from McD's instead of water, seltzer, or milk
* I felt less inclined to relieve myself, though that coincided with intentionally saving that energy for a birthday party thrown for me and my favorite ginger Russian girl (we share a birthday and two weeks after her super close cousin threw us a party when we were all available); the second day or so I returned to A I relieved myself mainly due to frustration
* I felt more tired and fatigued earlier in the day, though I'm not sure how much was energy towards sub execution, how much was physical exhaustion after working, how much was triggered by psychological avoidance response to working on a particular separate set of projects (this particular possibility was raised by my therapist a couple of weeks ago), and how much was something else that I likely have not yet identified
* I've taken longer to fall asleep at night and longer to wake up and get out of bed in the morning
* there was a lot of frustration that I felt difficult to express outwardly regarding the lack of progress in one of my projects, which started to worry me re potentially too much emotional detachment from things too soon without more sustainable positive motivations to replace them quickly enough
* the blonde Russian girl made repeated requests for my help in a particular class during B, and then canceled within the first couple of days after switching back to A; I'm of the mind she was simply looking for a believable excuse to have me around given her previous behavior, but who knows
* 3.1B also so far seemed to be the height of homosexual advances towards me, though it seemed like my overall attraction also increased even though no women explicitly approached me
* I felt and still feel a lack of motivation, almost apathy, to resume any of my previous exercise routines, possibly enhanced by the feelings of fatigue

So that's the list of observations that I remember at the moment. Still no sex, dry spell is currently still measured in years. I'm more convinced now than ever that the number one factor in consistently obtaining and maintaining the sexual relationships one desires is, as it's labeled in Rapid Escalation by Liam McRae (among other materials), "social freedom." This "social freedom" seems to include not only sexual availability and readiness, but also logistic availability and readiness.

In the list I mention a ginger Russian girl; I've previously either mentioned her minimally or not at all, and that's on purpose. Her and her close cousin (both of them act like sisters and consider each other such), I've intentionally documented separately from everything else and avoided direct and outright DMSI-only speculation on because my interactions with them are of a more significant and unique nature compared to those with everyone else.

I do feel like there are some DMSI instructions (both A and B) executing (such as an increased and still increasing feeling of attractiveness), some being resisted, and some likely not being executed at all. I'm also having trouble differentiating what might be reactions, positive or negative, to the programming vs. micro-seizures or cold shivers or something. I would love some elaboration on that.