I've realised that my neediness thing around women was worse... I have been not just thinking about them far more than is healthy, I was structuring my day around them. I would look forward to seeing specific hot clients, or my studio coordinator, or the receptionist and then be disappointed when my time around them was up. Days when I didn't spend time around anyone I fancied would feel wasted. FFS.
It looks insane and a bit stalkerish now that I write it down. To some extent I was using DMSI as an excuse - "got to give the aura time to work".
Instead, I am trying to create an image of who I want to be, and how I want to be around attractive women. I will be friendly, uplifting and take a genuine interest in them, rather than simply fighting for time and attention like a small child.
In other news, my bulking is coming to an end and I will have two and a half weeks of cutting, before my first festival, from Sunday. That's going to be a bit miserable - bring on the hangry.
I'm due to switch back to A on Friday and will run it for two weeks this time, then switch back to B for a few days before we drive to Download.
One of my female PTs yesterday told me that when I walk through the gym all the "age appropriate women and older take a sly sideways look at you". I'm pretty sure that's without an aura working, so goodness knows what it's going to be like when it fires up. Hopefully we'll get some age-inappropriate women looking too!
It looks insane and a bit stalkerish now that I write it down. To some extent I was using DMSI as an excuse - "got to give the aura time to work".
Instead, I am trying to create an image of who I want to be, and how I want to be around attractive women. I will be friendly, uplifting and take a genuine interest in them, rather than simply fighting for time and attention like a small child.
In other news, my bulking is coming to an end and I will have two and a half weeks of cutting, before my first festival, from Sunday. That's going to be a bit miserable - bring on the hangry.
I'm due to switch back to A on Friday and will run it for two weeks this time, then switch back to B for a few days before we drive to Download.
One of my female PTs yesterday told me that when I walk through the gym all the "age appropriate women and older take a sly sideways look at you". I'm pretty sure that's without an aura working, so goodness knows what it's going to be like when it fires up. Hopefully we'll get some age-inappropriate women looking too!
Fear Is The Mind-killer
