Hey, Catman! Was reading a PDF from Mark Manson, where this came up. You popped up in my mind, so I'm sharing this here
This is a small part of the PDF, but it's regarding the confirmation bias
There were numerous times where a client would hire me, I’d fly out to his city and meet him at the airport, and there he’d be: tall, chiseled chin, good physique, well dressed. He’d stand up tall and shake my hand firmly. He’d be a software engineer or a lawyer or a financial analyst or some other impressive profession.
My immediate reaction would be “What problem does this guy have with women?”
But I would soon find out. We’d go out and meet some women together and within minutes you could see it, he believed he was unattractive.
From my perspective, women would be all over him, flirting with him, eyeing him from across the room, smiling at him.
To me the signals were obvious. But in his mind, he was ugly, unattractive and undesirable, so all he saw were women being polite, tolerating his presence and showing no interest in him.
As a result, not only would he not act on the opportunities he had with women, but also his attitude would actually become negative and turn women off.
I saw this time and time again.
It was an amazing lesson in confirmation bias that I was exposed to over and over again.
I’ve run into similar debilitating biases in men when it comes to race, height, money and even their personalities. In all cases, they sabotage themselves with their poor beliefs.
This is a small part of the PDF, but it's regarding the confirmation bias
There were numerous times where a client would hire me, I’d fly out to his city and meet him at the airport, and there he’d be: tall, chiseled chin, good physique, well dressed. He’d stand up tall and shake my hand firmly. He’d be a software engineer or a lawyer or a financial analyst or some other impressive profession.
My immediate reaction would be “What problem does this guy have with women?”
But I would soon find out. We’d go out and meet some women together and within minutes you could see it, he believed he was unattractive.
From my perspective, women would be all over him, flirting with him, eyeing him from across the room, smiling at him.
To me the signals were obvious. But in his mind, he was ugly, unattractive and undesirable, so all he saw were women being polite, tolerating his presence and showing no interest in him.
As a result, not only would he not act on the opportunities he had with women, but also his attitude would actually become negative and turn women off.
I saw this time and time again.
It was an amazing lesson in confirmation bias that I was exposed to over and over again.
I’ve run into similar debilitating biases in men when it comes to race, height, money and even their personalities. In all cases, they sabotage themselves with their poor beliefs.
