05-08-2017, 07:55 AM
I'm sitting in a Cafe reflecting on a week and a half of DMSI. I didn't really want to make a DMSI journal, since it was curiousity which drew me in rather than a strong desire for the goals. That being said , the healing in this mofo is bringing up some serious shit.
Before that though some of the positives;
- GF is unrecognisably open and up for it , she was before but this is many levels above what was before. She's also enjoying sex on a whole new level.
- work colleagues are much more easy going with me, chatty and banterous.
- reconnecting with ambition , wanting to achieve the goals I had in AM6
Some of the neutrals
- Warmth / heat emanating from me randomly
- increased desire to reconnect with random girls and friends from the past , seem to be creating the conditions for hooking up fthough I'm not actually interested in pursuing anything with girls apart from my girl)
Negatives (though you could look at them as positives)
- extreme discontent with my physical state and financial status. I earn a good amount by most standards but it just doesn't seem good enough, I also feel like I could and should be so much fitter!
- pissed off and ready to fight , really not willing to take shit from people or be the calm guy , people start pushing my buttons and I back them down - I don't know that I'm proud of this or happy about it, but what ever
- no extraordinary response from women apart from the odd middle aged woman staring at me in my eyes like they're going to punch me.
Anyway I'm sitting in a cafe now waiting for my gf and a guy is opposite me, middle aged , thinning hair , overweight and writing his goals in a journal. I have immense respect to anyone who pursues their dreams , whatever their age but the way this man has written his goals reminds me of me and how I currently wrote goals but don't follow through - and the terrifying thought has arisen (this dove tails with the sentiment DMSI clearing seems to be awakening) that desire and flow isn't enough, you have to do the right things, and you gotta do the necessary grind with focus, otherwise you could be sitting there hoping for and writing down the same goad 1 years from now having got nowhere.
Basically focus and hustle is the order of the day.
Before that though some of the positives;
- GF is unrecognisably open and up for it , she was before but this is many levels above what was before. She's also enjoying sex on a whole new level.
- work colleagues are much more easy going with me, chatty and banterous.
- reconnecting with ambition , wanting to achieve the goals I had in AM6
Some of the neutrals
- Warmth / heat emanating from me randomly
- increased desire to reconnect with random girls and friends from the past , seem to be creating the conditions for hooking up fthough I'm not actually interested in pursuing anything with girls apart from my girl)
Negatives (though you could look at them as positives)
- extreme discontent with my physical state and financial status. I earn a good amount by most standards but it just doesn't seem good enough, I also feel like I could and should be so much fitter!
- pissed off and ready to fight , really not willing to take shit from people or be the calm guy , people start pushing my buttons and I back them down - I don't know that I'm proud of this or happy about it, but what ever
- no extraordinary response from women apart from the odd middle aged woman staring at me in my eyes like they're going to punch me.
Anyway I'm sitting in a cafe now waiting for my gf and a guy is opposite me, middle aged , thinning hair , overweight and writing his goals in a journal. I have immense respect to anyone who pursues their dreams , whatever their age but the way this man has written his goals reminds me of me and how I currently wrote goals but don't follow through - and the terrifying thought has arisen (this dove tails with the sentiment DMSI clearing seems to be awakening) that desire and flow isn't enough, you have to do the right things, and you gotta do the necessary grind with focus, otherwise you could be sitting there hoping for and writing down the same goad 1 years from now having got nowhere.
Basically focus and hustle is the order of the day.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
