05-04-2017, 10:41 AM
I'm not done with AM6 yet, but there were some points where I shut down or closed off during the process. It's like a threshold and once I cross it I'm not going to benefit. That's why I think E2 will do me some good after I'm done with this. It's tempting to think that I can just psyche myself up and bulldoze through AM6, but I've learned not everyone is the same and not everyone has the same threshold for what they can tolerate. Consciously I told myself one thing, but subconsciously I had different feelings. It's kind of funny how in control I assume myself to be at times when really it's the subconscious running the show.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's important to recognize that the mind is still very much undiscovered territory. We don't really know all about it and how it works and what works. If we did, people would be a lot happier than they are. I guess for me my core issue has always been fear and being too afraid to make changes even if they are good for me. And I tell myself over and over how it's good or there is nothing to fear and it just doesn't reach my subconscious all that well. I'm just a little sick of fighting this battle because it only takes one day of being a little weak for things to crumble a bit and give in to the fear. It's like I have to be incredibly aware of all my self sabotaging and destructive behavior and it's tiring.
I don't know, maybe it's wishful thinking but I wish my life was smoother. Like an upward progression of growth instead of this crazy up and down rollercoaster.
I guess what I'm saying is, it's important to recognize that the mind is still very much undiscovered territory. We don't really know all about it and how it works and what works. If we did, people would be a lot happier than they are. I guess for me my core issue has always been fear and being too afraid to make changes even if they are good for me. And I tell myself over and over how it's good or there is nothing to fear and it just doesn't reach my subconscious all that well. I'm just a little sick of fighting this battle because it only takes one day of being a little weak for things to crumble a bit and give in to the fear. It's like I have to be incredibly aware of all my self sabotaging and destructive behavior and it's tiring.
I don't know, maybe it's wishful thinking but I wish my life was smoother. Like an upward progression of growth instead of this crazy up and down rollercoaster.
