05-03-2017, 01:39 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2017, 01:41 PM by Have at ye.)
Working with ver. A has become quite the roller-coaster.
F. in. usually several hours after listening to my loops of the day, and eating a good meal, I will be facing several hours of total hopelessness, depression and mental tiredness - you know, feeling like I'm tired of life, myself, etc. Sometimes accompanied by suicidal thoughts or ideation even (worry not, I don't think I will be offing myself anytime soon. Still too much to do in this life
)
And, after this passes, I feel much better. Lighter. Physical sensations I associate with auric production outta the wazoo - and, for instance, today for the first time I'm feeling a pleasant coolness surrounding me: in my experience, this means that something has been cleared from my aura.
And then I will usually get something that would indicate execution of the script, f. in. a text or facebook message from a woman I find sexually attractive, indicating interest, "out of the blue" so to speak.
How much more clearing and healing is there left to do? Who knows. I'm fucked up to no end, unfortunately, but I do not want to be so anymore and thus, this WILL change. It must change, after all this crap - there must be a reason, a lesson to be learned out of all this, and I will rebound.
I might write a detailed post regarding some of my findings and issues I've been facing internally at a later date (f. in. tomorrow - right now I'm in too good a mood to go into it), which I might then delete at a later date. Will post it to a) work through that stuff, and b) it might help someone who has faced a similar situation.
EDIT
Also, libido - which has been kinda low lately, esp. on ver. A - is now back with a vengeance.
F. in. usually several hours after listening to my loops of the day, and eating a good meal, I will be facing several hours of total hopelessness, depression and mental tiredness - you know, feeling like I'm tired of life, myself, etc. Sometimes accompanied by suicidal thoughts or ideation even (worry not, I don't think I will be offing myself anytime soon. Still too much to do in this life
)And, after this passes, I feel much better. Lighter. Physical sensations I associate with auric production outta the wazoo - and, for instance, today for the first time I'm feeling a pleasant coolness surrounding me: in my experience, this means that something has been cleared from my aura.
And then I will usually get something that would indicate execution of the script, f. in. a text or facebook message from a woman I find sexually attractive, indicating interest, "out of the blue" so to speak.
How much more clearing and healing is there left to do? Who knows. I'm fucked up to no end, unfortunately, but I do not want to be so anymore and thus, this WILL change. It must change, after all this crap - there must be a reason, a lesson to be learned out of all this, and I will rebound.
I might write a detailed post regarding some of my findings and issues I've been facing internally at a later date (f. in. tomorrow - right now I'm in too good a mood to go into it), which I might then delete at a later date. Will post it to a) work through that stuff, and b) it might help someone who has faced a similar situation.
EDIT
Also, libido - which has been kinda low lately, esp. on ver. A - is now back with a vengeance.
