04-14-2017, 08:59 PM
Day 9 - 10: Always just 2 loops.
Memories where I fck up keep popping in my head, they appear random through the day. Some of them bring a small amount of tears, some of them bring anger but on the surface I look prety calm.
The past few days a strange fenomenon seems to appear. How to describe it....
Waves of energy on my back, I cannot keep the energy constant, I feel it like a wave.
This usualy happend through my life when I get a strong emotional response to situations (dog beying hurt, homeless people, universe, stillness); maybe once or twice per month. You know, it's like chiken skin, shivers.
In the past 4-5 days, I feel that I can summon those waves at command, they aren't as strong as when they go by themselves (not beying summoned) but still. It's wierd, it's somewhat fun. Well see what it is, but never ever did I tought about this thing or trying to feel those shivers willingly.
The shivers don't seem to influence anything and they don't seem to be powerful, they are simply "there". To summon them I imagine gaining energy from the ground (doesn't matter where I am) and powering up, I also reimagine the "anger" which I had and felt in the first 2 days (it's a good type of anger, it's like predatory anger, animalistic - a word and a feeling to describe it) ; and the shivers start from the back of my spine towards my neck. Placebo or not, hey, there you go, "new feature" for silly human
.
2 days ago feelt my forearms burning, maybe placebo (read on another journal), that's why I am skeptical of mentioning it.
Memories where I fck up keep popping in my head, they appear random through the day. Some of them bring a small amount of tears, some of them bring anger but on the surface I look prety calm.
The past few days a strange fenomenon seems to appear. How to describe it....
Waves of energy on my back, I cannot keep the energy constant, I feel it like a wave.
This usualy happend through my life when I get a strong emotional response to situations (dog beying hurt, homeless people, universe, stillness); maybe once or twice per month. You know, it's like chiken skin, shivers.
In the past 4-5 days, I feel that I can summon those waves at command, they aren't as strong as when they go by themselves (not beying summoned) but still. It's wierd, it's somewhat fun. Well see what it is, but never ever did I tought about this thing or trying to feel those shivers willingly.
The shivers don't seem to influence anything and they don't seem to be powerful, they are simply "there". To summon them I imagine gaining energy from the ground (doesn't matter where I am) and powering up, I also reimagine the "anger" which I had and felt in the first 2 days (it's a good type of anger, it's like predatory anger, animalistic - a word and a feeling to describe it) ; and the shivers start from the back of my spine towards my neck. Placebo or not, hey, there you go, "new feature" for silly human
.2 days ago feelt my forearms burning, maybe placebo (read on another journal), that's why I am skeptical of mentioning it.
