04-03-2017, 08:48 AM
God damn, my energy is wonky today. My old teacher would have said that I'm, "Out-of-pocket."
I had confrontational dreams last night. In one dream, I felt used and taken advantage of, and stood my ground. I created boundaries, and reinforced my value. Telling the story of the dream would be boring, but that was the gist.
Today, it's the same in real experience. I've already had an explosive argument with my wife, and then that bled into my training session with my mom. Somehow a discussion with my mom about fear of rollercoasters turned into responsibility and blame for parents and how their beliefs and actions affect their children. I referenced my own son, and then she took it and started denying having any responsibility for anything negative for her own children. Oh man did she touch a nerve, so I listed many ways they (my parents) failed us. She couldn't handle it, stormed out of the house.
Now I feel like I'm on drugs again. I haven't had this feeling since I reported it at the beginning of the sub. I've only had caffeine today, so it's not that...My whole body is buzzing with energy, and it's not comfortable. Getting tired of aggravated confrontation, and now I have a 3 hour drive and a "fun day" of visitation then funeral tomorrow. Oh, joy!
I had confrontational dreams last night. In one dream, I felt used and taken advantage of, and stood my ground. I created boundaries, and reinforced my value. Telling the story of the dream would be boring, but that was the gist.
Today, it's the same in real experience. I've already had an explosive argument with my wife, and then that bled into my training session with my mom. Somehow a discussion with my mom about fear of rollercoasters turned into responsibility and blame for parents and how their beliefs and actions affect their children. I referenced my own son, and then she took it and started denying having any responsibility for anything negative for her own children. Oh man did she touch a nerve, so I listed many ways they (my parents) failed us. She couldn't handle it, stormed out of the house.
Now I feel like I'm on drugs again. I haven't had this feeling since I reported it at the beginning of the sub. I've only had caffeine today, so it's not that...My whole body is buzzing with energy, and it's not comfortable. Getting tired of aggravated confrontation, and now I have a 3 hour drive and a "fun day" of visitation then funeral tomorrow. Oh, joy!
