04-03-2017, 04:15 AM
Day 32
You can take this as a follow up of the last update. I will assume you've read it just to make it shorter. Not that I plan to write another essay but neither did I plan it the last time
Ok, so all this chaos and mess makes me kind of uneasy. I don't like situations when I don't have control over things to be honest. I like to know the Sun will rise in the East and set in the West. Right now I have no idea what will happen. Each week brings me new things to think about and new "coincidences" with people in my life. Thankfully I do not believe in concept of coincidence.
That's why I really want to focus on self-improvement. It gives me grounding. When every day might bring someone new (or old back to) my life ME is the only person I can control and work with. I know I will not disappear just like I came
And the issue is that while people do appear, they just as easily disappear. It's hard to keep anything constant for me in such a frantic time.
The other reason is that I am quite frankly scared of repeating story with my ex. I might have been after a run of AM6 when I met her but that was not enough to be outcome independent from her. I was simply too easy and tempting not to develop oneitis on her. And while I admit I am not against oneitis I don't wanna get into one with someone with whom I would simply never be happy with (at least in the long run).
With all of this I think I'm slowly developing ADGAF aptitude. It's not bad as long as it doesn't make me waste opportunities, if anything it makes me stronger and independent. So far since I started DMSI 3.1 I don't feel like I wasted any good opportunity I had. I mean sure, I could be approaching girls on the streets or create Tinder account but I don't really wanna do that. Call it laziness or limiting beliefs, IDGAF
The funny thing is I am losing a lot of fat recently while not losing weight. I don't understand why because I don't exercise all that much except for walks. And I do walk a lot, but I never thought walking develops your muscles. Anyhow yesterday I tried my old trousers and they looked like two of me would fit in them. Those were always loose but not that much! At the same time I still struggle to lose kilograms. Also both my parents and my cousin me praising me for how much weight I lost. Interesting...
You can take this as a follow up of the last update. I will assume you've read it just to make it shorter. Not that I plan to write another essay but neither did I plan it the last time
Ok, so all this chaos and mess makes me kind of uneasy. I don't like situations when I don't have control over things to be honest. I like to know the Sun will rise in the East and set in the West. Right now I have no idea what will happen. Each week brings me new things to think about and new "coincidences" with people in my life. Thankfully I do not believe in concept of coincidence.
That's why I really want to focus on self-improvement. It gives me grounding. When every day might bring someone new (or old back to) my life ME is the only person I can control and work with. I know I will not disappear just like I came
And the issue is that while people do appear, they just as easily disappear. It's hard to keep anything constant for me in such a frantic time.The other reason is that I am quite frankly scared of repeating story with my ex. I might have been after a run of AM6 when I met her but that was not enough to be outcome independent from her. I was simply too easy and tempting not to develop oneitis on her. And while I admit I am not against oneitis I don't wanna get into one with someone with whom I would simply never be happy with (at least in the long run).
With all of this I think I'm slowly developing ADGAF aptitude. It's not bad as long as it doesn't make me waste opportunities, if anything it makes me stronger and independent. So far since I started DMSI 3.1 I don't feel like I wasted any good opportunity I had. I mean sure, I could be approaching girls on the streets or create Tinder account but I don't really wanna do that. Call it laziness or limiting beliefs, IDGAF
The funny thing is I am losing a lot of fat recently while not losing weight. I don't understand why because I don't exercise all that much except for walks. And I do walk a lot, but I never thought walking develops your muscles. Anyhow yesterday I tried my old trousers and they looked like two of me would fit in them. Those were always loose but not that much! At the same time I still struggle to lose kilograms. Also both my parents and my cousin me praising me for how much weight I lost. Interesting...
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
