Today was a fucked up day which led to me being depressed and extremely sad and having suicidal thoughts (that I wont act on because of my family and friends)
It started off okay, I had Blonde 2 (the milf older one) say were going to hang out at the oscar night at my work in 10 days and sit together.
I told her I wanted to talk to her sometime because she said she's not feeling this job.( I wanted to see what her feelings were and try to get her to stay) That's when we started talking about the Oscars
Brunette 3 the one I like allot opened up conversation with me and I said something like "Me and you gotta talk I hate small talk" and she said "sounds good! with a big smile"
Later I saw her in lunchroom and finally asked her out, I said, "So I'm busy this weekend, but next weekend we should go to buntzen lake or something"
She said "And be Vegan friends"
I think this is a friendzone comment, and this made me depressed after a while, It didn't affect me at all for the first hour or two then I got very emotional.
Also buddy at work I really like was last day today and we got to sit for 20 minutes and drink a beer with everyone while work was on around 12 am, so I got more emotional later because of the beer.
I was still EXTREMELY sad before the beer though.
Feeling better now because I did two good deeds, I drove my coworker male friend to his house even though if I got caught on the way to his house and back from cops id probably go to jail for breaching probation.
He wanted to walk a 5km uphill walk at 3 30 am after working 8 hours. So I felt bad.
Then I saw two drunk guys at mcdonalds on the way back from his house going to my house and they tried going in the store but it was locked so I said "Hey why don't you hop in and u can use drive through"
He said I don't know if my card will work.
I said dw il get it for you stay here.
He said "I don't have cash!"
I said "Don't worry it's a gift"
I ended up giving them 3 egg mcmuffins.
Made me feel allot better.
I'm still not feeling great however.
I hate having emotions for women I always end up getting hurt. This is what happens when I actually like someone. I care too much.
AM is the only thing that helped allot.
DMSI doesn't numb you like AM I think.
However it has healed me in other ways, even just asking her out is something I wouldn't have been able to do before.
So I'm proud of myself for that at least.
Gives me more hope I can do it again, and again and eventually find someone I like.
Again I've never had a girlfriend, i've only banged 7 one night stands and I crave love, and want to give love.
Shannon please add something to make me not be so analytical about things after they happen.
I don't know for certain the response was negative or not because the way I said it was pretty bold and confident.
She's hard as fuck to read too because shes super shy.
It started off okay, I had Blonde 2 (the milf older one) say were going to hang out at the oscar night at my work in 10 days and sit together.
I told her I wanted to talk to her sometime because she said she's not feeling this job.( I wanted to see what her feelings were and try to get her to stay) That's when we started talking about the Oscars
Brunette 3 the one I like allot opened up conversation with me and I said something like "Me and you gotta talk I hate small talk" and she said "sounds good! with a big smile"
Later I saw her in lunchroom and finally asked her out, I said, "So I'm busy this weekend, but next weekend we should go to buntzen lake or something"
She said "And be Vegan friends"
I think this is a friendzone comment, and this made me depressed after a while, It didn't affect me at all for the first hour or two then I got very emotional.
Also buddy at work I really like was last day today and we got to sit for 20 minutes and drink a beer with everyone while work was on around 12 am, so I got more emotional later because of the beer.
I was still EXTREMELY sad before the beer though.
Feeling better now because I did two good deeds, I drove my coworker male friend to his house even though if I got caught on the way to his house and back from cops id probably go to jail for breaching probation.
He wanted to walk a 5km uphill walk at 3 30 am after working 8 hours. So I felt bad.
Then I saw two drunk guys at mcdonalds on the way back from his house going to my house and they tried going in the store but it was locked so I said "Hey why don't you hop in and u can use drive through"
He said I don't know if my card will work.
I said dw il get it for you stay here.
He said "I don't have cash!"
I said "Don't worry it's a gift"
I ended up giving them 3 egg mcmuffins.
Made me feel allot better.
I'm still not feeling great however.
I hate having emotions for women I always end up getting hurt. This is what happens when I actually like someone. I care too much.
AM is the only thing that helped allot.
DMSI doesn't numb you like AM I think.
However it has healed me in other ways, even just asking her out is something I wouldn't have been able to do before.
So I'm proud of myself for that at least.
Gives me more hope I can do it again, and again and eventually find someone I like.
Again I've never had a girlfriend, i've only banged 7 one night stands and I crave love, and want to give love.
Shannon please add something to make me not be so analytical about things after they happen.
I don't know for certain the response was negative or not because the way I said it was pretty bold and confident.
She's hard as fuck to read too because shes super shy.
