Mystic Pymp on DMSI 2.4→2.5→3.0.1A→3.1A/B→3.2A/B→3.3D→3.3.1D

[Mystic Pymp]

Day 30

I have something to say that might have been better to say after I sleep over it but I want to give it a shot while it's still fresh.

I said I would write a letter to my ex concerning all things I'd like her to know and understand and which I came up with in recent months. Well, Prima Aprilis, I didn't do it. I lost interest in it. Kind of at least. At first I thought I would write 10 pages long essay with many quotes, poems and other such stuff. Then I thought I would write something short but still important. Yesterday I thought I would simply burn empty sheet of paper in an envelope. I didn't even do that. I did something different though. Something random which brought mayor consequences.

I played video game. Not your standard one though. It's called OneShot and I advice you to stop reading this crap, just buy it on steam and experience it yourself. If you liked Undertale you will like it as well. If you don't know what I'm talking about I guess reading further won't hurt you. Spoilers ahead, you've been warned.

I "completed" this game way back in January. "Completed" because the game was incomplete at that time. The whole meta in this game is how incomplete it is and basically game is destroying itself (or game's world, however you look at it). So what I did was I uncovered as much of the story as possible. And the story was basically that you have One Shot to save the world. The problem is that it comes at the price of life of your character or rather 4th wall breaking character who talks to you and does as you advice as you are a "god" of sorts. Or you can save her and doom the world. Your choice.

The real problem however is you can try again. And again. And again. The premise is a lie. You've got many shots but whatever you do you can only save one. Your past actions have some consequences on the next iterations, but only slight ones.

Last week the update came and today I had finally a chance to play it. I didn't expect much, maybe some reveals, but it changed everything. Now the game is complete and you can get the happy ending you've been longed for. Not without a price though. The price is you can never play this game again. You can save both the World and your character but that's it. No more story, no more reunions. Say your last goodbye and head your own way.

The game introduces concept of "taming", which you should know from "The Little Prince". Basically you grow attached to people, things, places and by doing so they become special, unique. They are more than they were before taming. And you're character is skillfully being tamed as you play. She's scared, knows nothing about this world and learns with you. She's also a child, emotional, trusting, full of wonder. The idea that you try another shot after you complete the game proves this. Proves that you care about her. You want to make sure she's fine just to learn nothing's changed. Until now.

I wanted to write the letter because I tamed my ex and I feel she's my responsibility. I wanted to her to understand me. I wanted to make sure she'll be fine, or at least she isn't hurt by me. But doing so would be like trying another shot - futile. There is no patch to real life. No happy ending you can strife for, not really. I might never have closure that everything is fine, that I've played the game 3 times and finally did everything right. In life you really do get only one shot. You might think you can try again, get better outcome, but sometimes it's just a sweet lie. And so while I might not be happy with the outcome I should accept it without shame.

In the game you get a choice between saving your character and the World. I had a choice between saving myself of (possibly? I wanted to believe I could) saving her. First choice gave me guilt, second one would give me humiliation and constant heartbreak. I made my choice. I was making this choice countless times! That's why I know the outcome. But there must have been a moment when I finally turn off "the game" me and my ex played and accept one or the other. This moment came months ago. And there will be no magical patch to fix the problems and bring about the happy ending.

So let's just accept how things are. Sometimes so do need to choose. And when neither of choices is a "happy ending" feeling guilt and shames becomes a pointless and futile exercise in empathy. Not because I didn't do anything bad. I simply couldn't do any more good than I do.