Also I recently realized something. For a while now one of my dreams has been to do something with my music, but I thought about it more and it just seems to be born out of validation. All I really care about is the music, not what surrounds it. I kept thinking to myself I had to make something good, I had to be somebody special. All this pressure was causing this anxiety and depression because I was worried about failing and not achieving these goals. But they were such horrible goals, they didn't make me happy. I'm hoping once all this validation seeking is stripped back I can see where my true motivations in life lie and not the ones based out of insecurity/fear.
Holy crap, these realizations just keep flooding in. I don't stand up for myself because as a kid when my dad got angry I just took it all in. It was safer to just absorb it all than stand up to him because if I stood up to him it made things worse. I've carried this habit into adulthood
Holy crap, these realizations just keep flooding in. I don't stand up for myself because as a kid when my dad got angry I just took it all in. It was safer to just absorb it all than stand up to him because if I stood up to him it made things worse. I've carried this habit into adulthood
