03-29-2017, 08:07 AM
(This post was last modified: 03-29-2017, 08:08 AM by Mystic Pymp.)
Day 27
Things are going slow. Almost to slow. There is still some anxiety left but most of it has vented some time ago. I'm at peace now, at least more than I've been in the long time. When I lay to sleep or I go for long walk my thoughts are all over the place and cannot converge into one coherent pattern, which is a good thing. I am worried only when I cannot stop thinking about one particular thing. A wide range of things is fine for mine hyperactive, analytical brain.
Today and yesterday I was talking with two girls I was mentioning before here, in this journal. First, and one I'm more happy about, is my friend's beautiful flatmate. I wrote to her and while nothing happened what I'd like to report we'll be going to the same event next week. I'll do my best to use this opportunity. Even if I ask her out and she refuses (as far as I know her) I would be in this "Oh, it's so sweet but..." kind of way, the only way I've ever been happy to be rejected in. And if she agrees... well, there must come a day when I shout "****ing DMSI", right?
Second one is worse, much worse. Don't wanna talk much about it other than one thing. When I wrote to her she didn't say "Hi" or something, she outright said she wants to kill herself. I don't know about you but I've never had anyone say it to me so bluntly and straight-forwardly. I don't know if she trusts me or she talk with everyone about it. I still find it so strange... Also it's sad that kind, pretty and quite smart girl has issues like that and you don't even suspect that. Sure, she had some mild neurosis, but given her background I'd almost expect that.
Things are going slow. Almost to slow. There is still some anxiety left but most of it has vented some time ago. I'm at peace now, at least more than I've been in the long time. When I lay to sleep or I go for long walk my thoughts are all over the place and cannot converge into one coherent pattern, which is a good thing. I am worried only when I cannot stop thinking about one particular thing. A wide range of things is fine for mine hyperactive, analytical brain.
Today and yesterday I was talking with two girls I was mentioning before here, in this journal. First, and one I'm more happy about, is my friend's beautiful flatmate. I wrote to her and while nothing happened what I'd like to report we'll be going to the same event next week. I'll do my best to use this opportunity. Even if I ask her out and she refuses (as far as I know her) I would be in this "Oh, it's so sweet but..." kind of way, the only way I've ever been happy to be rejected in. And if she agrees... well, there must come a day when I shout "****ing DMSI", right?
Second one is worse, much worse. Don't wanna talk much about it other than one thing. When I wrote to her she didn't say "Hi" or something, she outright said she wants to kill herself. I don't know about you but I've never had anyone say it to me so bluntly and straight-forwardly. I don't know if she trusts me or she talk with everyone about it. I still find it so strange... Also it's sad that kind, pretty and quite smart girl has issues like that and you don't even suspect that. Sure, she had some mild neurosis, but given her background I'd almost expect that.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
