Day... Something (17), Part 2:
So, I had the WEIRDEST experience today and I know it was DMSI based.
Today, I've been suffering from some soul crushing resistance. I mean, absolutely terrible. You saw my last post. My emotions have been an absolute rollercoaster. Just up and down and left and right without any rhyme or reason. I've been a complete mess -- really about to just melt down in a ball of tears, Dorito crumbs (good point Nox) and porn.
Around 2:00p today, I began to feel INCREDIBLY HUNGRY, damn near insatiable. All I could think about was food. I ended up going to KFC because it was the closest thing near me and grabbed a huge meal and scarfed it down. As soon as I finished eating, I had this IMPULSIVE urge to rush to the bathroom and purge it. And not even because it was bad or something. I became very disgusted with myself and my body and that I gave in to my urges and got KFC instead of something healthy. It took every bit of willpower I had not to do it, and I took a beeline for the bedroom instead and took a nap for the rest of my lunch.
When I woke up, I could feel the aura swirling around me and I felt much more at peace. I'm still feeling the resistance a little bit, but it's mostly gone now. I think the sub's sourcing kicked in to help me pass that resistance and my subconscious tried to self-sabotage by attempting to force me to throw up the food. I have NEVER had urges to do that before. NEVER. It's NEVER crossed my mind. This is definitely the result of something being cleared out that my subconscious desperately wanted to hold on to.
So, I had the WEIRDEST experience today and I know it was DMSI based.
Today, I've been suffering from some soul crushing resistance. I mean, absolutely terrible. You saw my last post. My emotions have been an absolute rollercoaster. Just up and down and left and right without any rhyme or reason. I've been a complete mess -- really about to just melt down in a ball of tears, Dorito crumbs (good point Nox) and porn.
Around 2:00p today, I began to feel INCREDIBLY HUNGRY, damn near insatiable. All I could think about was food. I ended up going to KFC because it was the closest thing near me and grabbed a huge meal and scarfed it down. As soon as I finished eating, I had this IMPULSIVE urge to rush to the bathroom and purge it. And not even because it was bad or something. I became very disgusted with myself and my body and that I gave in to my urges and got KFC instead of something healthy. It took every bit of willpower I had not to do it, and I took a beeline for the bedroom instead and took a nap for the rest of my lunch.
When I woke up, I could feel the aura swirling around me and I felt much more at peace. I'm still feeling the resistance a little bit, but it's mostly gone now. I think the sub's sourcing kicked in to help me pass that resistance and my subconscious tried to self-sabotage by attempting to force me to throw up the food. I have NEVER had urges to do that before. NEVER. It's NEVER crossed my mind. This is definitely the result of something being cleared out that my subconscious desperately wanted to hold on to.
