A Sexy Alex, stage 2: DMSI Journal (now 3.3.2!)

[apollolux]

Ok, first night with DMSI 3.1 done, hybrid trickling stream set to play after 4.5 hours of silence like I said (timing it to around 5-5:30am). I went to sleep at 4:30am or so and had to wake up around 10-11am to get ready for an appointment, alarm originally set for 10:05am. Alarm went off and, feeling super tired and fatigued, I snoozed it, waking up at 11:05am to a "how u doing" text from the Russian blonde I previously referred to in earlier journals as a one-itis. I don't yet know how I would feel if it turned out she's the target of the long distance sniper.

Felt fatigued and droopy-eyed most of the day until around 3:00pm, when I finally had something to eat (a protein bar) and drink (3 cups of Starbucks coffee). Even then, a lot of hair flipping from fairly cute women on the subway both to and from my appointment and at Starbucks, and even some mimicking from a cute redhead (artificial color on brunette) in front of me at the Trader Joe's checkout line when buying the protein bars (I went to quickly get a free sample and she almost immediately followed suit where she didn't previously).

I have not consciously noticed any change in personal smell, but it feels like I'm sweating a bit less from my armpits.

The biggest change so far since moving to solely DMSI 12 days ago is yesterday I finally broke through my productivity slump to figure out what was actually wrong with my synthesizer project and fix it. Now I can finish the damned thing. Mentally and emotionally I feel flat mainly due to the prescription anti-depressants, and noted that to my therapist, remarking how I would likely feel angry enough to throw my synthesizer project out a window before yesterday due to lack of progress.

So! I fixed my synthesizer and the Russian blonde texts me "out of the blue." I wonder what is/will be the most reliable source of energy for DMSI-inspired changes for/in me, and look forward to more positive biochemical, physical, and emotional changes.