Spiral's Sex Magnet 2011 journal

[Spiral]

I don't really care to approach women. I never have but that hasn't improved at all. I just don't have a problem talking to them anymore. In fact I'm much more flirtatious and very comfortable socially with women. I just stay away from the pursuing mindset and having an agenda. UNLESS I feel very attracted to this person and the initial connection is very strong. I havn't voiced my intentions to a specific girl yet but flirting is pretty easy and my eye contact is more comfortable.

However I still worry some about what people think of me.. like meeting a whole new group of people that I don't know may give me some anxiety.

I just flew back from Houston and on the plane I was sitting next to a woman who was probably 60 and as soon as she sat down I began flirting with her. Really it was just a one line icebreaker but we talked for a little while and that was whatever. There was a very beautiful girl sitting behind me to the left across the aisle. I could have started talking to her because on the initial eye contact we smiled at each other but I just felt uneasy about starting a conversation with her since the plane was full. I'm usually a more conservative and private person when it comes to people I'm talking to but that's getting better every day. In this situation though I was just worried about what people were going to think and look at me when I'm talking to some stranger who is in fact very gorgeous. And the desire wasn't there. But mostly my own insecurities got in the way. Thankfully, I did not beat myself up mentally.. instead I just relaxed, let go, and told myself it's alright.. there will be a better opportunity.

Unfortuneatly this is what I always tell myself with women and nothing ever happens. In my current life style I think I will actually have to push harder and forward more to make things happen. Which I don't have a problem with.. just in less crowded places.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!