01-25-2017, 12:29 PM
Bits, thanks for your response. With the V day coming in, and so little days left, I am not even bothered by that. Besides I got more important things to do. It's just annoying that I feel that I have made much progress, and yet not really getting there.
Given the scammer issue and because of that I shut down my facebook account, I only go on OkCupid, and Match. Bumble and Tinder, well, I am not using them anymore as I can't even access them. Bumble, I deleted it longtime ago (as I was getting zero swipes for a while) and Tinder, same thing except that I couldn't even delete it after I shutdown my facebook. And BTW, I am not about to revive my facebook account yet, so they are out of the options. And BTW, OkCupid is about to expire with subscription, and I don't have money at the moment to renew it, so I am gonna be done with it. Match, well the least amount they were selling was like 3 months, and honestly I found that they even have less availability.
That's funny you mention that. My experience with Bumble is so different. As far as the availability goes or logistics goes, I find that Bumble was much worse than Tinder, and Bumble couldn't even keep with what I asked for in terms of perimeter. Since I don't own a car, I wanted it to be less than 5 miles, but I was generous with the search, and gave 20 mile radius. Bumble, all the girls popped up in the search was over 20 mile radius, some even going 50 miles. Besides, I paid for the subscription, so I know if some girl is swiping right, and guess what I was not getting anything.
This may have been my situation in the past, and I am trying to change that. And I don't know if you have read my previous posts, or I don't even remember saying anything here, but my social life in classes have been terrible for most of the parts. Before and after the class, I have been almost as good as non-existent for most of the people in the classes (except professors, and except in class time as I am pretty engaging in the class). This semester, it feels different that things are gonna be different in classes. (I have been more social in the two of the offline classes I have been so far, and things looked pretty good in terms of purely being social, and talking to other students.)
But you are right that I didn't do many activities. I have been looking forward to change that, but I got cold that I wasn't able to do anything last week or so. (And there really wasn't other opportunities either. I have signed up for a social gathering stuff to change the issue.)
You are mistaken that I only want girls to be my girlfriends or I am trying to just bang them. (Hey I even got told to do opposite to do what you said, because I was offering a girl to help her move in, which I didn't have an intention of becoming her boyfriend or banging her. If it would have developed into that, sure it could have been good, but it didn't need to develop into that.) You are also mistaken that I am a PUA follower. I find that PUA doesn't seem to represent me or fit my taste. I only take bits that seem to make sense or seem to fit my taste, and not take the other stuff.
Yes, I totally get that girls are humans too, and like I wrote above, I don't mind hanging out or befriends with them. If they are cool and have stuff to offer, why not being friend with them? (Some may disagree here.) But here is where the frustration was. Every single time, when I see an attractive girl she is with some other guy, or she's a lesbian or whatever. Every single time, maybe an exception of one in the past. That's where the frustration was or annoyance came from. It's every single time, and this time, it was again the same. That's what the annoyance or frustration was about. Nothing else.
Well I got about 6~8 months left before leaving this town/city. (End of the program, visa and passport issue) I wonder if getting a single date with someone I am attracted to will even occur during that time frame if it is advancing at this rate. If nothing happens then, it's all starting from scratch. (Trust me on this, there is more to it than stuff I am mentioning here. Unfortunately, I can't provide more explanation to what I am expressing.)
Anyway, for one, one offline class I need to join a facebook group for class discussion. I'll need to create a brand new facebook, and it wouldn't be a weird stuff for them as I said in the class that I deleted facebook because it got hacked. (Not exactly, but something similar). And BTW, I don't really game with anyone, I just approach or talk to people with my genuine side. Perhaps this is where the problem is. (For which I am sure some people will interpret it as the problem.)
You mentioned my age group, so I am curious, how old do you think I am?
Uhh.... I don't think my message was clear..... the issue of autonomy and stuff like that. No, I would never allow anything to take my autonomy away. As far as the positivity goes, well, I am a guy that need to see result, and I think, and process things. (Even stuff like faith, I think and process academically to make sense out of it. Hopefully this isn't a violation of rule 4 here.) So that's what I mean by positivity. I am seeing some positive changes, which is great, but nothing in terms of manifestation. Well so far, classes are dead ends, and since that will be the big chunk of my social scene, it just seemed like nothing was going to happen or manifest for another 3~4 months, which is already half of the time frame.
But, I've gotten over that much better than last night. Still annoyance/frustration is there, but I am over that, and handling the issue much better.
Anyway, if I follow what Shannon said previously, I suppose this was from an expectation that something was going to be different this time, which it wasn't. And this I am having a little difficult time to meddle, as I am thinking if I can't/shouldn't even expect something to be different running a sub, then does it even make sense to run the sub. Well, the sub's going to drive me to the goal, but if nothing is going to be different, how is it going to get me to the goal? Something is going to be different, but I can't expect that things are going to be different. I am lost here.
So that's it for this post.
(01-25-2017, 05:26 AM)bits Wrote: Which dating sites are you using? In most markets the selection of sites dedicated to dating is pretty terrible with only maybe a handful of decent women, all of who are getting flooded with creepy messages.
Given the scammer issue and because of that I shut down my facebook account, I only go on OkCupid, and Match. Bumble and Tinder, well, I am not using them anymore as I can't even access them. Bumble, I deleted it longtime ago (as I was getting zero swipes for a while) and Tinder, same thing except that I couldn't even delete it after I shutdown my facebook. And BTW, I am not about to revive my facebook account yet, so they are out of the options. And BTW, OkCupid is about to expire with subscription, and I don't have money at the moment to renew it, so I am gonna be done with it. Match, well the least amount they were selling was like 3 months, and honestly I found that they even have less availability.
(01-25-2017, 05:26 AM)bits Wrote: I played around with bumble last week, overall the quality of girls there is much higher than tinder although there are fewer and they have to message you first before you can speak to them. It has its pros and cons, con is if you've got a good opener to use it's pointless because she'll never see it but if a girl opens you then you know shes serious about meeting and you can flirt a little on text, move to snapchat/instagram/whatsapp for a day or two then get the phone # and setup a date.
That's funny you mention that. My experience with Bumble is so different. As far as the availability goes or logistics goes, I find that Bumble was much worse than Tinder, and Bumble couldn't even keep with what I asked for in terms of perimeter. Since I don't own a car, I wanted it to be less than 5 miles, but I was generous with the search, and gave 20 mile radius. Bumble, all the girls popped up in the search was over 20 mile radius, some even going 50 miles. Besides, I paid for the subscription, so I know if some girl is swiping right, and guess what I was not getting anything.
(01-25-2017, 05:26 AM)bits Wrote: As for meeting women in the real world in my experience the biggest obstacle guys have is that they simply don't do any activities or go places where women are. My brother had this problem big time, he only knew 1 girl who was a "tomboy" and all his friends did was play xbox in his room, play baseball/basketball, and he was in engineering so almost 0 women. Once I actually forced him to go get a job at starbucks and "drugged" him to be more social (with pheromones) his dating life did a 180. He could have had manifestation in 10g and it probably wouldn't have done him any good because he was either studying in his room or stuck in a legitimate sausage fest.
This may have been my situation in the past, and I am trying to change that. And I don't know if you have read my previous posts, or I don't even remember saying anything here, but my social life in classes have been terrible for most of the parts. Before and after the class, I have been almost as good as non-existent for most of the people in the classes (except professors, and except in class time as I am pretty engaging in the class). This semester, it feels different that things are gonna be different in classes. (I have been more social in the two of the offline classes I have been so far, and things looked pretty good in terms of purely being social, and talking to other students.)
But you are right that I didn't do many activities. I have been looking forward to change that, but I got cold that I wasn't able to do anything last week or so. (And there really wasn't other opportunities either. I have signed up for a social gathering stuff to change the issue.)
(01-25-2017, 05:26 AM)bits Wrote: If girls are already taken, just approach and be friends with them. You have no idea how much girls value male friends that GENUINELY like hanging with them don't ONLY want to get into their pants especially at your age. They're humans just like you and like socializing with people that have similar interests or can show them something new. Too many pua/dating tip/mens magazines try to push the "avoid friendzone at all costs" line but the friendzone doesn't really exist. It's a lack of attraction zone because most guys orbit some girl like a lost puppy for 3 years and wonder why there is no attraction.
The problem is guys get friendzoned, develop some game, but then forget if they had game before they got friendzoned, they never would have been friendzoned in the fist place. Girls hookup with their male friends all the time, just not the needy ones who are only friends with them so they can try and date/bang them. But even if you don't date/bang them, you meet a cool person who like hanging out with and new options in her social circle open up. Despite PUA marketing the reality is 90% of hookups (outside of dating sites/apps) happen through social circles and not cold approach. The highest "cold approach" pickup style is actually cold approach -> one night social circle -> hookup.
You are mistaken that I only want girls to be my girlfriends or I am trying to just bang them. (Hey I even got told to do opposite to do what you said, because I was offering a girl to help her move in, which I didn't have an intention of becoming her boyfriend or banging her. If it would have developed into that, sure it could have been good, but it didn't need to develop into that.) You are also mistaken that I am a PUA follower. I find that PUA doesn't seem to represent me or fit my taste. I only take bits that seem to make sense or seem to fit my taste, and not take the other stuff.
Yes, I totally get that girls are humans too, and like I wrote above, I don't mind hanging out or befriends with them. If they are cool and have stuff to offer, why not being friend with them? (Some may disagree here.) But here is where the frustration was. Every single time, when I see an attractive girl she is with some other guy, or she's a lesbian or whatever. Every single time, maybe an exception of one in the past. That's where the frustration was or annoyance came from. It's every single time, and this time, it was again the same. That's what the annoyance or frustration was about. Nothing else.
Well I got about 6~8 months left before leaving this town/city. (End of the program, visa and passport issue) I wonder if getting a single date with someone I am attracted to will even occur during that time frame if it is advancing at this rate. If nothing happens then, it's all starting from scratch. (Trust me on this, there is more to it than stuff I am mentioning here. Unfortunately, I can't provide more explanation to what I am expressing.)
(01-25-2017, 05:26 AM)bits Wrote: Since you didn't get to meet the people in the online class if I was in your situation I would just casually message a few and ask if there is a facebook group setup for the students in the class, if there isn't one set it up yourself and start inviting people to it. Don't try to game any of them or it will probably creep them out, and it's probably better to start with guys, then girls who have a boyfriend, then girls who are single. Once you have that setup you have the perfect segway to moving from class mates to friends.
Anyway, for one, one offline class I need to join a facebook group for class discussion. I'll need to create a brand new facebook, and it wouldn't be a weird stuff for them as I said in the class that I deleted facebook because it got hacked. (Not exactly, but something similar). And BTW, I don't really game with anyone, I just approach or talk to people with my genuine side. Perhaps this is where the problem is. (For which I am sure some people will interpret it as the problem.)
You mentioned my age group, so I am curious, how old do you think I am?
(01-25-2017, 05:21 AM)Darkness Wrote: Dude your it's not gonna bring postivity that'll come from you after you've healed to the point that you don't feel the need to relinquish any autonomy over your feelings.
Uhh.... I don't think my message was clear..... the issue of autonomy and stuff like that. No, I would never allow anything to take my autonomy away. As far as the positivity goes, well, I am a guy that need to see result, and I think, and process things. (Even stuff like faith, I think and process academically to make sense out of it. Hopefully this isn't a violation of rule 4 here.) So that's what I mean by positivity. I am seeing some positive changes, which is great, but nothing in terms of manifestation. Well so far, classes are dead ends, and since that will be the big chunk of my social scene, it just seemed like nothing was going to happen or manifest for another 3~4 months, which is already half of the time frame.
But, I've gotten over that much better than last night. Still annoyance/frustration is there, but I am over that, and handling the issue much better.
Anyway, if I follow what Shannon said previously, I suppose this was from an expectation that something was going to be different this time, which it wasn't. And this I am having a little difficult time to meddle, as I am thinking if I can't/shouldn't even expect something to be different running a sub, then does it even make sense to run the sub. Well, the sub's going to drive me to the goal, but if nothing is going to be different, how is it going to get me to the goal? Something is going to be different, but I can't expect that things are going to be different. I am lost here.
So that's it for this post.
