DMSI v3.0.1

[bits]

In regards to the reactions you're getting, it kind of reminds me of the pheromone aqua vitae, which works great for some guys but for others it puts you way too high status without enough comfort and you see odd behavior like what you're noticing.

In the meantime really I think the only solution is to verbally make yourself more friendly and down to earth.

@bits

Thank you again!

I've been thinking about this post you wrote. I think your comparison with aqua vitae is a good one. I've noticed sometimes when I've worn aqua vitae in the past, I've wondered why they look so conflicted and I bet you're right about it being from the status and her wanting to pursue (but being used to being pursued).

As for the verbally more friendly and down to earth, could you comment on that more? I know to leave the $5 words out of the conversation, but if you have any more input, I'd definitely appreciate it.

Yea AV is notorious for that push/pull and status effect.

As for being more friendly I think it's kind of hard to put in text but you basically want to be the opposite of aloof. You don't want to force a smile but you can kind of tell when people are in a good mood even if their facial expression is flat, to get myself there I just think about funny standup routines, scenes from movies, or times in the past where I was laughing too hard for whatever reason.

As for actual conversation you'll need to do most of the initial talking but at the same time keep it light since people tend to get in their heads and introverted when they deal with people they're attracted to or that they view as higher status. You don't want to go full Ned Flanders, but you just need to tone down the James Bond. Even if you don't feel like Bond, people are perceiving you as Bond.

The best way to learn it may be by going on youtube and looking up interviews of mega celebs with people who don't usually interview them. Somebody like Jimmy Kimmel isn't going to be intimidated by Brad Pitt but if he were to go to Atlanta for a charity fundraiser the local news anchor probably would be a little intimidated. Celebs like Pitt have seen it hundreds of times and know how to calibrate in the moment to make those interviewers who don't usually talk to big names more comfortable. It's a subtle shift but if you look for it you can observe and pickup the vibe from it.