Life's Journey

[Life]

Pretty sure I manifested her. A lot of signs point to yes. But I posted in Shannons volume discussion a time where he mentioned his AYP sexual lover caused some serious change because her job was to help him grow in a way to live without her and not be consciously focused on the romance. I feel the opposite is happening with me. Even though I manifested her and our convos are great and she's perfect absolutely even when I think about our sexual chemistry she is very "in her head" and the past few days I've just felt that I'm changing both according to this program and the AM after effects. When I conciously think I'm connecting the most I feel a hardcore dark feeling in my mind and even though I conciously notice responsiveness people think of me as a bad guy like this... maybe that's what she perceives as right uh I was just sitting contemplating my feelings trying to see the emotional state because I'm very sure this is my perfect lover but it's very tough and I don't think thinking about it at all will speed anything up. I'm entertaining myself now