11-01-2011, 08:17 PM
"I'm sorry, miss, but attractive as you are, I'm afraid I am going to have to put you in the friend zone. You see, I need your help as a friend more than I need you to be my girlfriend, or my lover."
She looked stunned. I continued before she could regain her footing.
"I need a woman's point of view on some important guy stuff. And not just any woman's point of view. I need your point of view."
I paused to let her come to her senses.
"Uh... okay..." she stammered. "Why my point of view?"
"I thought you'd ask that. I need your point of view specifically because you happen to be exactly the sort of woman I find myself most attracted to based on physical features alone. Of course I can't know your personality yet, as we've just met, but physically, you're just the sort of woman I'd like to date. So I am going to make you a sacrificial lamb, if you will, and put you in the friend zone so that you can be my guide to women like you. I know you probably get this all the time, but I would really appreciate your help. For instance, I need to understand what a woman like you finds attractive in a man. What sort of dress styles you find attractive on a man. What sort of colognes you appreciate on a man. And perhaps any little quirks you have that you find especially attractive, such as perhaps men who use pocket watches. Think of me as yours to guide into becoming the perfect man. If you're interested. The downside, of course, is that we can't be more than friends. The upside is, well, you'll get to help me become the sort of guy exceptional women such as yourself appreciate."
She laughed a beautiful laugh that reminded me of snowflakes, and then smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen. It was on.
She looked stunned. I continued before she could regain her footing.
"I need a woman's point of view on some important guy stuff. And not just any woman's point of view. I need your point of view."
I paused to let her come to her senses.
"Uh... okay..." she stammered. "Why my point of view?"
"I thought you'd ask that. I need your point of view specifically because you happen to be exactly the sort of woman I find myself most attracted to based on physical features alone. Of course I can't know your personality yet, as we've just met, but physically, you're just the sort of woman I'd like to date. So I am going to make you a sacrificial lamb, if you will, and put you in the friend zone so that you can be my guide to women like you. I know you probably get this all the time, but I would really appreciate your help. For instance, I need to understand what a woman like you finds attractive in a man. What sort of dress styles you find attractive on a man. What sort of colognes you appreciate on a man. And perhaps any little quirks you have that you find especially attractive, such as perhaps men who use pocket watches. Think of me as yours to guide into becoming the perfect man. If you're interested. The downside, of course, is that we can't be more than friends. The upside is, well, you'll get to help me become the sort of guy exceptional women such as yourself appreciate."
She laughed a beautiful laugh that reminded me of snowflakes, and then smiled the biggest smile I had ever seen. It was on.
Subliminal Audio Specialist & Administrator
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
The scientist has a question to find an answer for. The pseudo-scientist has an answer to find a question for. ~ "Failure is the path of least persistence." - Chinese Fortune Cookie ~ Logic left. Emotion right. But thinking, straight ahead. ~ Sperate supra omnia in valorem. (The value of trust is above all else.) ~ Meowsomeness!
