12-28-2016, 02:38 PM
Day 27
Christmas is over but I'll be staying at my parents' for some time yet. I will probably spend New Year celebration with my family as I feel too negative and fearful to force myself into social situations. Well, I don't feel that bad, but I have moments of strong anxiety, self-pity and anger and I know in awkward social situation they would be turned up to 11. I'm to sure if it's be best idea to be a recluse right now but I'd rather use my solitude while I can to meditate and learn while DMSI does its job in the background than forcing myself into situations I don't wanna be in. I will feel shame that for the first time in couple years I'm spending New Year essentially alone and I'd rather do that than regret spending it with others. I just don't have strength for that right now.
Christmas is over but I'll be staying at my parents' for some time yet. I will probably spend New Year celebration with my family as I feel too negative and fearful to force myself into social situations. Well, I don't feel that bad, but I have moments of strong anxiety, self-pity and anger and I know in awkward social situation they would be turned up to 11. I'm to sure if it's be best idea to be a recluse right now but I'd rather use my solitude while I can to meditate and learn while DMSI does its job in the background than forcing myself into situations I don't wanna be in. I will feel shame that for the first time in couple years I'm spending New Year essentially alone and I'd rather do that than regret spending it with others. I just don't have strength for that right now.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
